


Is Izuru the Ultimate E-Girl?

by soren_poet



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Agender Ultimate Imposter, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Anxiety, Chatting & Messaging, Enoshima Junko Being An Asshole, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Junko did a bad, Kidnapping, M/M, MAHIRU NEEDS MORE LOVE, Multi, Nonbinary Kamukura Izuru, Other, POOR POOR MAHIRU, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secrets, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Soda is kinda mean and weird, Teruteru is a little less weird, They/Them Pronouns for Chihiro Fujisaki, Truth or Dare, Underage Drinking, autistic gundham, but he gets better!, chiaki and izuru are both egirls, chiaki chihiro and chisa are all cousins, chiaki is very confsued, chiaki loves vines, execpt mahiru and mikan were never rejected, hiyokos actually nice to mikan for once, honer is a hope boner, i accidently made soda a dumbass and a dick oops, ibuki will beat you up for talking about junko around mikan, if u fuck more then once its not a bromance, ill add a tw for it, ill explain later, kaz mahiru mikan and teru are in the rejected club, mahiru is part irish because screw you, me writing out my repressed traumas lol, mikan was in an abusive relationship with junko so watch out for that, mostly texting, mukuro is better though, nagito also has a honer, nagito has a neopets, natsumi and satos deaths were just pranks, now mahiru is traumatized yay, peko is god?, screw you junko, slowest of burns, the chi family if you will, turns out faking your death is a really bad prank, vine references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2020-12-14 15:30:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21018074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soren_poet/pseuds/soren_poet
Summary: Chiaki loves her friends, so she makes a group chat so they can talk!That was a really unwise move, so this mess exists now.





	1. God's name is Peko

_Ultimate_Gamer-Girl has created a group chat called Class 77_

_Ultimate_Gamer-Girl has added 15 people_

**Ultimate_Gamer-Girl:** hey everyone wants your favourite vine

_xXxBo55BabyxXx has left the chat!_

**Ultimate_Gamer-Girl:** peko did you change his name again lmao

**PekoYama:** I won't confirm, nor deny anything.

**Ultimate_Gamer-Girl:** nice

_Ultimate_Gamer-Girl has changed their name to Haha I do that_

**Haha I do that:** all the cool kids have group chats why don’t we?

**Ultimate trash:** because with me here we aren’t cool

**SQCUEENEN:** IBUKI HEARD SOMEONE TALK BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES >:(((

**SQCUEENEN:** IBUKI LIKES LETS MC FRICKING LOSE IT

_Haha I do that has changed SQCUEENEN to LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT_

_PekoYama has added FuyuHiko to Class 77_

**PekoYama:** I apologize for changing your name, young master. I thought it was funny at the time.

**Haha I do that:** again whats yalls favourite vines

**FuyuHiko:** yalls

**Ultimate Trash:** that one vine “it was absolute shit but you look fit though” it describes me perfectly

**Hiyoko-Saionji:** stop being emo PLEASE

_Haha I do that has changed Ultimate Trash to You look fit though_

**You look fit though:** I suppose my name was to long

**_PekoYama:_ **I’m a fan of the “happy birthday raven” vine, it was quite cute.

**( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°):** careful chirren thas a lot of sodium

**Haha I do that:** unexpected for Peko but im surprised you like vines teruteru?

_Haha I do that has changed 3 names_

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** its very boring when you have to wait for stuff to cook

**Happy birthday raven:** whyd you change mine as well?

**I cant swim:** Young master, do you know what a vine is?

**Happy birthday raven:** that thing that hangs down and is in Minecraft

**Haha I do that:** hes right

**You look fit though:** where is everyone else? A group of ultimates in a group chat together would surely bring the most hope!

**Hiyoko-Saionji:** you scared them all off you hodfijosgifdhsgujmckuyhsghijnzuhzdincjnuhyf

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** FIOARUOAJMAPORGJIOWNVJDFKM HAJIME JUST RAN INTO IBUKI AND HIYOKOS ROOM AND SLAPPED HIYOKOS PHONE ONTO THE GROUND XDXDXDXD

**MaMahiru:** HE DID WHAT NOW?

**DarkLord:** You mere mortals think I, Gundham Tanaka would participate in such mindless activities as watching what you plebeians call vines?!

**DarkQueen:**

**DarkQueen:** :}

_DarkQueen has changed 2 names_

***nuzzles & kisses*:** …

**XD:** :}}

**Haha I do that:** tbh I want a relationship like Gundham and Sonia

**MaMahiru:** IM SORRY WE’RE IGNORING THE FACT HIYOKO GOT SLAPPED??

**Haha I do that:** yes

**XD:** yes

***nuzzles & kisses*:** Yes, indeed we are

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** yes

**I cant swim:** Yes.

**Happy birthday raven:** of course

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** MAYHAPS

**MaMahiru:** Even you Ibuki?!

**I cant swim:** such betrayal

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** OOOOOO IBUKI SHOULD WRITE A SONG ABOUT BETRAYL!!

**MaMahiru:** I hope you all feel better knowing she’s crying!

**Ultimate Izuru:** I defintly do

**Haha I do that:** im going to assign yall vines if you don’t speak up @everyone

**Its soda not pop:** my main goal is to blow up then act like I don’t know nobody ahahrahararh

**Its soda not pop:** also yall

**NurseJoy:** to make a long fuckin story short I put a whole bag of jelly bags up my ass

**AkanOwari:** so im sitting there, barbeque sause on my tiddys,

**MaMahiru:** Hiyoko says hers is “im your freestyle dance teacher” and mine is the one with the guy yelling patrica.

**Ultimate Izuru:** I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger

**Ultimate Izuru:** Akane where is the e in your name

**AkanOwari:** listen I got my phone like 3 years ago and misspelled my name then and don’t have the heart to change it to the right spelling or make it a joke

**Mystery Them:** I don’t need friends they disappoint me

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IBUKI THOUGHT WE WERE FRIEDNS IMPOSTER :(((

**Mystery Them:** It’s a vine ibuki

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** …OH

**Haha I do that:** is that everyone?

**AkanOwari:** nekomaru’s training but he likes “do you want ammm or fmmmmmmm”

**Happy birthday raven:** Mikan whyd you put a “whole bag of jelly beans” up your ass

**Haha I do that:** Mikan honey can you change your vine so bossbaby doesn’t get confused?

**NurseJoy:** I-Im sorry for making it so long and confusing!! What about two shots of vodka?

**Happy birthday raven:** We’re all underaged!!

**It’s soda not pop:** says the ultimate yakuza

**Haha I do that:** IS THAT EVERYONE?

**You look fit though:** I think so chiaki

_Haha I do that has changed 7 names_

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** WHAT DID I MISS

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** WAS THAT A HAMILTON REFRENCE

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** WHATS A HAMILTON

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HAMILTON IS??

**I’m your freestyle dance teacher:** I hope you all know ibuki shouts whatever she types and it sucks when your in the same room as her

**Happy birthday raven:** you suck

**I’m your freestyle dance teacher:** nOt As hArD AS yOu bLoW

**XD:** fjkdasjgyouficjnhrfjickdjhzdfzkigfdfkcm

***nuzzles & kisses*:** I do not know what this means, and the dark lady refuses to tell me, can someone grace me with the knowledge I don’t possess.

**ARHAHAHA:** no

***nuzzles & kisses*:** Ah I see mortals are too self-obsessed to explain things

**ARHAHAHA:** didn’t say that but go off

**ARHAHAHA:** chiaki why did you make this thing?

**Haha I do that:** Chisa made me

**2 shots of vodka:** w-why do you call her Chisa

**Haha I do that:** ??shes my cousin I thought yall knew that

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** is that why you’re her favourite

**Haha I do that:** no its cause im better then all of you

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** shes right

**You look fit though:** everyones better then me!

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** I will slap you with friendship

**You look fit though:** correction the only one worse then me is hajime!

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** I will slep you with anger

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** not gonna lie id pay all the guys from 5 seconds of summer to slap and/or step on me

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** oh worm??

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IBUKI WOULD LET HAYLEY WILLIAMS STEP ON HER

**XD:** Hayley Williams is quite pretty!

**I’m your freestyle dance teacher:** I love her music!!

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** Hayley Williams the ultimate womanizer

**I can’t swim:** If Izuru is the ultimate everything does that make him the Ultimate Womanizer?

**Happy birthday raven:** holy shit

**PATRICIA:** Does that make Izuru better than us at our own talents?

**Haha I do that:** @ izuru come have a pokemon battle with me lets see whos the true ultimate gamer girl

**ARHAHAHA:** chiaki is an e girl…

**I’m your freestyle dance teacher:** PFFF does that make Izuru the ultimate e girl?

**Barbaque Sauce on my tiddys:** can confirm, both chiaki and izuru have tik toks and they are both e girls

**2 shots of vodka:** sometimes I wish I was jared, 19

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** HOLY SHIT DID MIKAN JUST MEME??

**Haha I do that:** mikan was the og junko kinnie

**2 shots of vodka:** uhm…

**ARHAHAHA:** What about the cosplay chick?? She seems to really like Junko

**2 shots of vodka:** uh i-

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** HOLD ON MIKAN IBUKIS COMING TO GET YOU

**You look fit though:** You are not ready to meet Monaca. I had to baby sit her for a while and I nearly died, she does not bring hope.

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** I present to you: Mukuro

***nuzzles and kisses*:** I request Mukuro to ascend to the firey pits of hell where I reside for her inner truth to be revealed!

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** ???

**XD:** Mukuros call out post.

**ARHAHAHA:** wow miss Sonia is so smart!! <3<3

**XD:** Call me Miss Sonia again and I will not hesitate to block you.

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** OH SHIT SONIA S N A P P E D

**ARHAHAHA:** im go ing to go c ry to leo n

***nuzzles & kisses*:** whom??

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **GINGER BASEBALL GUY WITH PEIRCINGS

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** HE HANGS OUT WITH SAYAKA??

***nuzzles & kisses*:** ah. that man.

**Haha I do that:** yo how close are yall to the younger classes??

**ARHAHAHA:** i accidently befriended all the gingers from class 78

**Haha I do that:** ah me and chi hang out a lot lmao

**PATRICA:** Are you talking about yourself, Chihiro or Chisa?

**Haha I do that:** yes

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** I train with Sakura, Aoi and Tenko sometimes!

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** Togami once punched me for imitating him. It didn’t stop me and it never will.

**You look fit though:** absolutely iconic!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IBUKI AND SAYAKA USED TO BE BANDMATES BUT HER AND IBUKI DECIDED THAT THEY HAD TOO DIFFERENT MUSIC TASTES SO NOW IBUKIS HER OWN MUSICIAN!! BUT SAYAKA IBUKI AND KAEDE PLAY TOGETHER SOMETIMES!!!

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** I had a stroke reading that and im now deaf from listening to Ibuki shout that.

**2 shots of vodka:** o-oh no! a-are you ok?!

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** FUCK OFF you ugly pig! I was being SARCASTIC YOU SKANK!

**PATRICIA:** Hiyoko! We talked about this!

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** uh.. Im sorry Mikan I didn’t really mean that.. or something..

**2 shots of vodka:** u-uhm

**2 shots of vodka:** what the fuCK?

**Haha I do that:** hiyoko is whipped

<strike>_LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: ARE WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT THEY’RE CUDDLING RIGHT NOW? AND WHEN HIYOKO SAID THAT SHE LEANED IN CLOSER TO MIKAN AND SAID “IM SORRY”_</strike> **[Deleted]**

***nuzzles & kisses*:** Ah what a mortal relationship can do to the walking demons poising this earth…

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** We aren’t dating you emo!

_<strike>PATRICA: Yet</strike> _ **[Deleted]**

**PATRICA:** Hiyoko! Please stop insulting people!

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

***nuzzles & kisses*:** as of yet, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**XD:** Yet! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Haha I do that:** yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** Yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** Yet. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** YET ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Happy birthday raven:** yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**I cant swim:** Yet. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**2 shots of vodka:** y-yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**You look fit though:** yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ahhh, two ultimates in a relationship would bring so much hope!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** YEET!!! ( ͡ຈ ͜ʖ ͡ຈ) ALSO MAHIRU LEFT IBUKI AND HIYOKOS ROOM TO GO AND IBUKI MCQUOTES “CHOKE NAGITO”

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hes in my room if that helps

**ARHAHAHA**: yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) also kinky

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** wtf? Is this some joke I don’t get big sis mahiru? And how the fuck did you say ( ͡ຈ ͜ʖ ͡ຈ) out loud Ibuki?

**PATRICA:** …don’t worry about it hiyoko.

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** wait no incest isn’t cool

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** I need a new roommate nagito is fuckin dead

**Haha I do that:** aren’t you techinally rooming with izuru

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** im not taking suggestions from chiaki

**Haha I do that:** can I say one more thing

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** make it quick

**Haha I do that:** bitch

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** im no longer taking suggestions

**Haha I do that:** sucker

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** **@XD** do people ever go “sonia!” and you reply to them then they go “nevermind”

**XD: **its illegal in my country to do that to me because it happens so often. Tis not rad dude.

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** i-

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** TIS NOT RAD DUDE

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IN FACT ITS QUITE WACK

**XD: **Exactly!

**ARHAHAHA:** Miss Sonia pls I love you put never say rad ever again I swear its gonna kill me

**XD:** is that so?

**ARHAHAHA:** propbably

**XD:** rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad

***nuzzles & kisses*:** rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad rad

**XD:** radical

**ARHAHAHA:** w w hy mu st yo u u u rt me th his wa y

**2 shots of vodka:** i-if anyones wondering i-I looked it u-up and it is a-actually illegal to s-s-say that to s-sonia

**Happy birthday raven:** whats the punishment

**2 shots of vodka:** death

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** UHM

**2 shots of vodka:** nah don’t worry hajibae it’s a fine

**2 shots of vodka:** oops auto correct

**You look fit though:** TURN ON UR LOCATION MIKAN

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** HURT MIKAN AND I WILL KILL YOU THEN MYSELF

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** NO FRIENDS DON’T FIGHT

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** GO IBUKI!!! BEAT HIS ASS!!

**PATRICA:** NOOOOOOOOOOO

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** owo this is getting heated

***nuzzles & kisses*:** does it ever cross your meer mortals puny minds that ibuki and teruteru share many unfathomable similarities?

**Haha I do that:** Sonia pls translate

**XD:** yall ever think about how ibuki and teruteru act the same

**Haha I do that:** THE GUNDHAM WHISPERER HAS SPOKEN!

**Haha I do that:** do the thing

**I cant swim:** …

**I cant swim:** Seriously?

**I cant swim:** …

**I cant swim:** *offtune kazoo*

**Happy birthday raven:** I’m actually crying right now

**Happy birthday raven:** I didn’t think I could love Peko more then I already did but I was wrong

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** oh worm??

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** GOD IS A WOMEN AND HER NAME IS PEKO PEKOYAMA

**PATRICA:** I once had a dream that she killed me so I’d have to disagree?

**Happy birthday raven:** You probably deserved it.

**PATRICA:** It was in retaliation for the time Sato 'killed' your sister

**Happy birthday raven:** Funky green haired lesbian? My sisters girlfriend? Reserve course Sato?

**PATRICA:** Yeah! Do you remember when you all did that dramatic thing to scare me? Well in the dream it happened for real! But we couldn't remember it until we played a video game about it, and once I did that Peko killed me. Also we were on an island trapped by a giant half white half black bear.

**I cant swim:** The one Junko has a bear of?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** We do not speak of that name in this household. If you do I will not hesitate to sue you.

**Haha I do that:** IAUGFUSUYIFDJBHCDGEFKJCDBH UKJRDFHBSIODFJHUFGUIKHDFJ,CDGJKJXDVN

**Haha I do that:** DID IBUKI TURN OFF CAPSLOCK????????????

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IBUKI HAS NO CLUE WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT :00000000

**Haha I do that:** AND STOPPED REFERING TO HERSELF AS IBUKI????????????????????????

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** WELL IBUKI REQUESTED WE DO NOT SAY THE NAME OF ONE OF THE GIRLS IN THE YEAR UNDER US SO **@everyone** PLEASE DON’T SAY IT OR OTHERWISE IBUKI WILL SUE YOU?

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** I will also sue you! Not before beating you up! :)

**2 shots of vodka:** hiyoko has a soft spot for four (4) girls

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** I may be a bitch but im a gay bitch

**PATRICA:** oh mood

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** hey uh I might be a creepy pervert but I don’t want to hit on a lesbian or straight guy so like?? Can you guys tell me what orientation you guys are?

**Haha I do that:** just say yall? Im bi, bi the way

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** chiaki is probably laughing her ass off right now

**Haha I do that:** u right :)

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** anyway im bi and Izuru is demi

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** fuckin uhhhhhhhhhh im not straight? id fuck a girl or a guy but like??? what am i?? who am i?

**XD:** Me and Gundham are pan!

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** and by pan she means she once deepthroated a fucking pan. im sorry princess but we both fuckin saw that

**XD:** I still have no explanation for what I was doing.

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**XD:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**ARHAHAHA:** MISS SONIA NOOOOOOOO

**ARHAHAHA:** also im bi I think?

**PATRICA:** lesibab

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** lesnbian

**2 shots of vodka:** take your time

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** GIRLS!!!!!!

**Haha I do that:** Y’all scare me so much why are y’all so synchronized

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** so, you are all lesbians?

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** yes dumbass

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** thanc

**PATRICA:** Non-horny Teruteru is cursed and I hate it.

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** ID DATE BUT NOT LIKE? FUCK?

**Haha I do that:** yknow what your valid coach!

**I cant swim:** …Demi?

**Happy birthday raven:** fuck if I know

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** Aroace. I’m also Agender so I guess you could say I’m, AAA

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** SCREAMING?

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** Screaming.

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** MOOD

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** anyone else kinda worried that nagito has been typing for so long?

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** aww are you worried about your boyfriend?

**PATRICA:** Yeah! Just man up you two.

**I cant swim:** I must admit, it is quite frustrating seeing you two dance around one another.

**Happy birthday raven:** it’s so gay

**Haha I do that:** says yall lol

**You look fit though:** I am a proud gay man; I love men so much. The thought of being with a woman disgusts me to the core. I would rather give my soul to despair then to be with a woman. I am repulsed by the sight of a woman trying to approach me. Maybe it is just deep-rooted mother issues but I could never see myself with a woman. This is why I congratulate the existence of WLW. The perfect woman is a man. Men fill me with so much hope, hope that I personally believe women cannot fulfil me with as much hope as a man can. Even though I am the human embodiment of trash I hope someday a man will be able to love me.

**PATRICA:** Me but with women.

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** I think that’s unironically one of the funniest things I’ve read.

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** I-

_Haha I do that has changed You look fit though to Men fill me with hope_

**Haha I do that:** the one thing I took away from that essay

**PATRICA:** Both Ibuki and Hiyoko are wheezing and Mikan just started crying, repeating “what the fuck does that even mean?”

**Happy birthday raven:** whenever im sad I remember that Mikan probably swears as much as everyone else does if not more and everyone acts like shes super innocent but then you’ll look away and she just start chanting swears

**ARHAHAHA:** I once glued my hat to my head and when she found out she started crying and saying “what the fuck? How’d you manage that shit? How the fuck? Why do you do this shit?”

**2 shots of vodka:** I-I still want to k-know why you d-did that

**ARHAHAHA:** my favourite super hero is matilda :)

**2 shots of vodka:** understandable, have a nice day.

**Haha I do that:** I just realized I haven’t named this??

**I cant swim:** Young master says, “Don’t say I said this, but say ‘Chiaki’s Minecraft Server’”

**Happy birthday raven:** KJSADFKJAFKJLADFS PEKO PLEASE

**Haha I do that:** thanks boss baby

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** @everyone IT IS 10PM PLEASE GO TO SLEEP

**Haha I do that:** no


	2. Who's that pokemon!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I cant swim: I’m going as Mortica Addams and young master is going as Gomez.
> 
> Actual Asahina: is it because hes shroter then you
> 
> Happy birthday raven: blocked, reported and called a hitman on you.
> 
> Actual Asahina: kill me yourseld oyu pussy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heres everyones names!  
Chiaki: Haha I do that  
Izuru: L’oreal  
Hajime: I’m Men  
Nagito: Men fill me with hope  
Akane: Actual Asahina  
Fuyuhiko: Happy birthday raven  
Gundham: *nuzzles & kisses*  
Hiyoko: I’m your freestyle dance teacher  
Ibuki: LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT  
Kazuichi: ARHAHAHA  
Mahiru: PATRICA  
Mikan: 2 shots of vodka  
Nekomaru: Big papa  
Peko: I cant swim  
Imposter: I don’t need friends  
Sonia: XD  
TeruTeru: Gordon ramsey kin

**Haha I do that:** hajimeme

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** yes chalk?

**Haha I do that:** give izuru an account and I want to tell him something

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** il do it but I cant get him right now

**Haha I do that:** thnc

**Happy birthday raven:** PLEASE for the love of god SLEEP it is 3AM

**Haha I do that:** why are you awake

**I cant swim:** He’s doing something.

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** and why are you awake

**Happy birthday raven:** shes also doin something

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** WELL, MAKE SURE YOU GET BACK BEFORE CLASS STARTS!

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** seems sus but whaterv

**Haha I do that:** whats ur excuse coach?

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** I DRANK TO MUHC COFFEE

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** oh mood

**Haha I do that:** im playing pokemon :) I may or may not have named every pokemon after yall

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** what pokemon am i?

**Haha I do that:** wait lemme pull up a list

**Haha I do that:** from start to finish in my box, my frostlass is named hiyoko, my hariyama is named nekomaru, my lopunny is akane, my ditto is imposter, chespin is nagito, gallade is peko, blacephalon is ibuki, fletching is mahiru, scrafty is fuyuhiko, shroomish is hajime, im komala, pumpkaboo is teruteru, lilligant is sonia, whismur is mikan, trapinch is soda, trevenant is gundham and aurorus (my faouirte pokemon) is izuru (my faovuirte human)!!!

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** how am I shroomish

**Haha I do that:** you have big shroomish vibes

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IBUKI IS GLAD YOU THINK IBUKIS GREAT POKMON

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** IBUKI HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ONLINE

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IBUKI DOESN’T SLEEP!!

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** that doesn’t sound healthy

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** SO DOES PLAYIN POKEMON AT 3:30AM BUT IBUKI WONT JUDGE!!! WHY AERE YOU AWAKE HAJIME

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** Izuru woke up in the middle of the night,spent a fuc ton of money, drank 5 cups of coffee, then I sorta… switched back into control I guess? And I realized what the fucker did.

**Haha I do that:** you can just say that you were watching a 5 minutes crafts video that said if you theoretically drink 20 cups of coffee in a single sitting and survive youll techincially the stromgest human on earth casue weve all done it at one point lol

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** chiaki are you ok

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** CHIAKI

**2 shots of vodka:** i-is this why you checked into the n-nurse’s office the other day

**Haha I do that:** :))

**Haha I do that:** what sur excuse for being up mikan?

**2 shots of vodka:** w-we were having a sleep over so me and h-hiyoko are in ibuki and mahiru’s room, and ibuki s-shouts whatever she types and w-woke me up

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** OOPS IBUKIS SORRY!! IBUKIS GONNA MAKE TIKTOKS NOW

**Haha I do that:** id do the lenny face but teruterus not here and that’s his thing

**Men fill me with hope:** Mikan, I hope im not intruding on a group of ultimates spending time together to bring new hope, but I may have set myself on fire a bit and burned myself.

**2 shots of vodka:** you WHAT

**Men fill me with hope:** I know, I know, I’m useless.

**2 shots of vodka:** a-are you in your dorm?! Im on my w-way!!

**Men fill me with hope:** Sorry to worry a brilliant ultimate like you…

**Haha I do that:** HOW???

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** and what did you set on fire this time

**Men fill me with hope:** I was on the computer then just, bam! And hajime I don’t need to tell you anything

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** ????? yes you do we share a fuckin compuer

**2 shots of vodka:** u-uhm! If y-your not to busy could you u-uhm open the d-door?

**Men fill me with hope:** Ah! I really shouldn’t keep an ultimate waiting!

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** ugh fine

**Haha I do that:** who else is lurking?

***nuzzles & kisses*:** I request to know whether the pink haired mortal is prowling around?

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** LAST I SAW HE WAS IN HIS LAB AND TAKA CONFISCATED HIS PHONE

***nuzzles & kisses*:** brilliant. I needed to say, the dark queen has fallen into deep slumber upon my lap, stroking the four dark devas of destruction, and I, king of the underworld must admit it is quite adorable.

**Haha I do that:** ive said it beoore but ill say it agin. god I wish that was me

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** ANYONE ELSE LOVE WHEN LYDIA RIFFS IN BEETLEJUICE!!!

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** ibuki we have no clue what your talking about

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** ILL TAKE IT TO THE MUSIC CHAT

_***insert music pun here*** 4:12am_

**Ibuwuki:** ALRIGHT GAYS

**Sayuwuka:** uwu whats this

**Kauwude:** spill gal

**Ibuwuki:** L Y D I A S R I F F S

**Kauwude:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Sayuwuka:** o my y ES

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server** 4:13am_

**2 shots of vodka:** e-everyone! Nagito’s b-burn wounds weren’t that b-bad so he’ll be in class t-today!

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** Nagito your buying us a new laptop

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** also chiaki I made izuru an account can I add him

**Haha I do that:** of course!!!

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** his accounts name is **@Ultimate Aurorus**

**Haha I do that:**!!

_Haha I do that has added Ultimate Aurorus to Chiaki’s Minecraft Server!_

**Haha I do that:** finally I can talk to Izuru without you reading our messages

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** I wish I didn’t read them

**Men fill me with hope:** Would you mind sharing?

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** Only if you buy a new computer

**Men fill me with hope:** >:(

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** HEY BITCHES

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** **@XD** can I have my hoodie back

***nuzzles & kisses*:** the dark lady says you shall not!

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** but im cold

***nuzzles & kisses*:** but shes cute

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** oh true

**Haha I do that:** stan Sonia squad

**XD:** Aw thank you!!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **SO UH WHATS THE HOMEOWRK

**2 shots of vodka:** y-you can copy off me ibuki!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** ILY SO MUCH MIKAN I COULD KISS YOU

**2 shots of vodka:** o-oh your w-welcome!!

**Haha I do that: **? I offered to let you copy??

**Ultimate Aurorus:** Chiaki… DMs.

_Ultimate Aurorus > Ultimate_Gamer-Girl 4:30am_

**Ultimate_Gamer-Girl:** Izuru!!

**Ultimate Aurorus:** Mahiru is a lot smarter than Mikan, and Ibuki knows this. She does it because she likes Mikan, Chiaki.

**Ultimate_Gamer-Girl:** OH

**Ultimate_Gamer-Girl:** we sould make a group chat to try and get the pining idiots together thinking emoji

**Ultimate Aurorus:** Why would I want to help people that are below me? Also did you type out “thinking emoji”

**Ultimate_Gamer-Girl:** because they’re our friends :(

**Ultimate Aurorus:** Your friends.

**Ultimate_Gamer-Girl:** then do it for me! you know you love me right :)

**Ultimate Aurorus:** Fine…

**Ultimate_Gamer-Girl:** WAIT THAT WORKED?

**Ultimtae Aurorus:** So, what would you like your nickname to be?

**Ultimate_Gamer-Girl:** YOU CAN’T DODGE THAT

**Ultimate Aurorus:** Or can I.

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server** 4:41am_

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** then this Bithc LOOKED ME DED IN THE EYES AND WENT

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** “being bi is straightphobic”

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** DID YA PUNCH HER

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:** SHE DESERVES TO BE PUNCHED, THAT’S JUST DUMB

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** yeah big papa is right

**Do you want ammm or fmmm:**…

_Do you want ammm or fmmm has changed their name to Big papa!_

**Big papa:** THIS IS MY IDENTITIY NOW

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** LMAO YEAH I DID PUNCH HER ALSO IM WHEEZING OVER UR NAME

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** A TWELVE YO ONCE CALLED IBUKI HOMOPHOBIC CAUSE IBUKI SAID IBUKI DIDN’T LIKE JAMES CHARLES AND IBUKI REPLIED WITH “AM LESBIAN MATEY” THEN WALKED OFF

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** Wasn’t that on live tv?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** :))))))

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** BESIDES IMPOSTER DOES WAY BETTER MAKE UP

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** **@I don’t need friends** when are you starting a beauty youtube channel

**I don’t need friends:** Never.

**Barbeque sauce on my tiddys:** what about your skincare routine?

**I don’t need friends:** Also never. Akane, your skin is to greasy to repair and your hair is a mess. It looks like you took both of the Asahina sibling’s hair and put it together and called it a day.

Barbeque sauce on my tiddys: i-

Barbeque sauce on my tiddys has changed there name to The better Asahina

The better Asahina: yo do you think I could get them to adopt me

Big papa: YOUR CLOSE TO THE FAMILY RIGHT? YOU PROBABLY COULD

_**Training Buddies!** 4:50am_

_Mother has sent screenshot158.png_

**Mother: @daughter** HINA CAN UR PARENTS ADOPT ME

**Daughter:** ueashigjvenavfiudsnj kfsiv K ILL GO ASK THEM LMAO

**Daughter in law:** I’m surprised most of your class is up at this hour?

**Mother:** Ibuki broke the sound proof walls and we haven’t got soda or miu to fix them yet so everyone who isn’t a deep sleeper wakes up really early

**Adopted daughter:** can we get an f in the chat

**Mother:** f

**Daughter in law:** f

**Daughter:** f but also ?????????????????????? THEY SAID THEY WERE GOING TO CHECK OUT THE PAPER WORK TO SEE IF THEY COULD????????

**Mother:** WASSUP BISHES IMMA BE THE NEWEST ASAHINA SIBLING

**Adopted daughter:** I wish I had siblings

**Daughter in law:** I agree, it gets boring being an only child.

**Mother:** you don’t

**Daughter:** you really don’t

**Adopted daughter:** you already talk like siblings!!!

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server** 4:55am_

_The better Asahina has changed their name to Actual Asahina_

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** OG MY PEJO

**Actual Asahina:** GUESS WHO HAS TWO YUONGER SIBOLIGSN

**Big papa:** I- GDFKJLJKLGKJLDF

**Haha I do that:** I LEAVE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AND IMPOSTER WRECKS AKANE SO AKANE GETS ADOPTED???

**Actual Asahina:** IM NOT ADOPTED YET BUT THEIR PARENTS SAID THEY WERE GOING TO TRY FIGHT FOR CUSTODIDY

**I don’t need friends:** I’m actually surprised you actually went through with it? I might give you my skin care routine now.

**Actual Asahina:** I GET HELP WITH MY CRPAPY ASS SKIN AND GET OUT OF A CRAPPPY HOUSEHOLD?? FUCK YEAH

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** DDO YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT AKANE?

**Actual Asahina:** nah

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** K

_**FUCK SHIT UP** 4:58am_

**SHIT:** YOU WANT TO COME TO MY ROOM AND TALK ABOUT IT?

**FUCK:** thatd be great coach thanks :)

**SHIT:** NO PROBLEM AKANE!

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server:** 4:58am_

_Haha I do that has changed Ultimate Aurorus to L’oreal_

**L’oreal:** I hate this.

**Haha I do that:** love you too

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** HIIIIIIIIIIIII IZZYYYYYYYYYYYYY

**L’oreal:** Don’t call me that.

**2 shots of vodka:** n-nice to see you, izuru!

**L’oreal:** Stop typing out your stutter.

**2 shots of vodka:** sorry…

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** Don't talk to her like that.

**L’oreal:** I typed it.

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** Ibuki will fight you if you hurt Mikan.

**L’oreal:** I could kill you in 300 different ways and make them all look like an accident.

**2 shots of vodka:** p-please don’t f-fight!!

**Haha I do that:** izuru please try to be respectful to our friends

_**Protecc!!!** 5:04am_

**Pinkie pie kin:** IBUKIS SORRY FOR SCARING YOU MIKAN IBUKI DIDN’T MEAN TO

**Fluttershy kin:** h-hey its alright Ibuki! Y-you didn’t mean to!

**Pinkie pie kin:** IS THERE ANYWAY IBUKI COULD MAKE IT UP TO YOU?? IBUKIS REALLY REALLY SORRY FOR ALARMING YOU!!!

**Fluttershy kin:** y-you being my friend is g-good enough! I r-really enjoy your company!!

**Pinkie pie kin:** AWWWW MIKAN YOUR SO CUTE!!!

**Fluttershy kin:** y-you really think so?

**Pinkie pie kin:** THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST!!!

**Fluttershy kin:** W-well I think your q-quite cute as w-well!!

**Pinkie pie kin:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

_Ultimate_Gamer-Girl has made Everyone in our class is an Idiot! 5:04am_

_Ultimate_Gamer-Girl has added 3 people!_

_Ultimate_Gamer-Girl has changed 4 names!_

**Soft:** Chiaki, what is this?

**Evil:** I agree, this is quite peculiar.

**Egirl:** we need to get our class together yall

**Emo:** I didn’t agree to this.

**Egirl:** yes you did you emo >:(

**Soft:** owo What’s this?

**Evil:** uwu

**Emo:** I hate this.

**Egirl:** our class is full of pining idiots we gotta help them

**Soft:** Chiaki, doesn’t that include yourself?

**Egirl:** have no clue what ur talking about sorry

**Egirl:** izuru ur the smart one who should we get together first

**Emo:** I literally do not care. You are all beneath me.

**Egirl:** I will not hesitate to send everyone screenshots of the time nagito was talking shit about himself so you went on a rant about how he wasn’t shit then promptly deleted it

**Emo:** We should start with Mikan and Ibuki. They already act like a newly wed couple

**Soft:** WAIT THAT WORKED

**Evil:** You’ve done it Chiaki! You have possessed such raw power that makes a human demon quake as they stand!

**Egirl:** nah their jus secretly sof

**Soft:** Izuru call out post?

**Evil:** Izuru call out post.

**Emo:** I can and will make your deaths look like accidents.

**Evil:** If I die, I would return to my home of the underworld, were I would be able to assend back up you foolish l’oreal model.

**Egirl:** IGJOKADLFSTGURJDVKLJGGFVD

**Soft:** that’s my boyfriend!!!!!!

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server** 5:10am_

**Happy birthday raven:** prepare for trouble

**I cant swim:** and make it double

**XD:** !!!I LOVE THAT CARTOON

**Haha I do that:** Sonia ur killig me

**Big papa:** WELCOME BACK!!

**I cant swim:** …is that you Nekomaru?

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** no hes big papa

**2 shots of vodka:** unerstandle have nic dy

**Happy birthday raven:** mikan are you having a stroke?

**2 shots of vodka:** nno ibukii hhas jjust falleln assleeep oon my bboos an ccant ttype

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** bboos

**Actual Asahina:** bboos

**2 shots of vodka:** :((((

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IBUKI HEARS SAD MIKAN IBUKI CANT LET MIKAN BE SAD!!!!!!!!

**2 shots of vodka:** Imarifjdkm SJDEadDEAD

**Haha I do that:** rip mikan died by lesbianing

**Big papa:** THE ONLY ACCEPTIBALE WAY TO DIE

**Actual Asahina:** me baking cakes in minecraft: its what chiaki woulve wanted,,,,,

**Men fill me with hope:** Chiaki, as the ultimate gamer, what is your thoughts on fortnite?

**Haha I do that:** it’s a good game yall just mean

**I don’t need friends:** Disowned.

**I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger:** ew

**Men fill me with hope:** I would usually never disagree with an ultimate, but your wrong.

**Actual Asahina:** Imposter and hajime’s names are so similar im scared

**Haha I do that:** I HAVE TBHE BEST IDEA

_Haha I do that has changed I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger to I’m men_

**I’m men:** ?

**Men fill me with hope:** I will kill an ultimate.

**Actual Asahina:** aiafjdaafkdjkdlkfd

**Big papa: @Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium** WHENS BREAKFAST? AND WHAT IS FOR BREAKFAST??

**I cant swim:** Uh oh.

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** I’m glad you asked! I’m currently prepping the chocolate for the quinoa with banana, blueberry, strawberries and whipped cream. That is just the main breakfast as you all have requested your own foods. At the moment I’m also getting ready the smoothies for each classmate. So I believe it would take another half hour?

**Big papa:** THANKS!! I HOPE YOU ALL GO FOR A JOG BEFORE BREAKFAST!!!!!!!!!! HAVING AN APPETITE IS GOOD!!!

**ARHAHAHA:** ME AND MIU JUST STOLE OUR PHONES BACK WHATS UP FELLAS

**XD:** I will tell Ishimaru.

**ARHAHAHA:** :(

**ARHAHAHA:** whats yall gonna be for Halloween??

**Haha I do that:** me and Chihiro are being Mario and Luigi!!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IM HEATHER MC NAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**I’m men:** that’s…. tame?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** HIYOKO JUST WATCHED HEATHERS AND LVOED IT SO SHES HEATHER CHANDLER, MIKANS HEATHER DUKE AND MAHIRUS VERONICA!!!!!

**Haha I do that:** sexual tension checks out

**2 shots of vodka:** i-I think it’s a c-cute idea!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** YOUR GONNA BE SO CUTE MIKAN!!!

**Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium:** im Gordon ramsey

**Big papa:** I-

_Haha I do that has changed Careful chirren thas a lot of sodium to Gordon ramsey kin_

**I cant swim:** I’m going as Mortica Addams and young master is going as Gomez.

**Actual Asahina:** is it because hes shroter then you

**Happy birthday raven:** blocked, reported and called a hitman on you.

**Actual Asahina:** kill me yourseld oyu pussy

**I cant swim:** Is that an invitation?

**Big papa:** YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST

**I cant swim:** It’s actually because a couple people in the years below us offered to go as the rest of the family.

**Happy birthday raven:** yeh! that fucking nerd girl is goin as wedesnday and her girlfriend is going as pugsley, tennis dude is going as the creepy ass uncle, fuckin crazy ass clarviont guy is the fuckin grandma, big bug dude is that lurch guy and we donthave anyone else

**Haha I do that:** doesn’t ur family have a big fued with tennis guy and clarviont guy

**I cant swim:** Young master requested that he try to ‘make allies not enemies’ at hopes peak.

**I don’t need friends:** I’m going as snorlax.

**Haha I do that:** amn so proud my kids come so far

**Men fill me with hope:** I’m going as the cat in the hat, if anyone cares…

**I’m men:** I bet hes looking down at his hand

**Men fill me with hope:** stfu hajime

**I’m men:** I was right

**Actual Asahina:** im going as remy from rataoilite

**Big papa:** SHES LITERALLY JUST DOING IT SO SHE CAN RIDE ON MY BACK BY MAKING ME LINGUINI

**Actual Asahina:** guilty as charged

**I’m men:** im going as salad fingers

**XD:** I’m going as Light from death note and Gundhams going as L!!!

**Haha I do that:** what about you soda?

**ARHAHAHA:** im literally going in a hazmat suit how did yall get such good costumes??

**I don’t need friends:** I’m literally just going in my onesie and calling it a day.

**Men fill me with hope:** Can I ask why I saw Mahiru and Hiyoko walking down the hallway together from the baths, just wearing towels?

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** ewwwwwwww you were watching us you pervert?!

**PATRICA:** You shouldn’t spy on girls washing each other! That’s disgusting!!

**Men fill me with hope:** I hate arguing with ultimates but, I’m gay?

**PATRICA:** Oh ok :)

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** your on thin ice you lolicon

**Actual Asahina:** wwhy were you washing each other?

**PATRICA:** Because we can! It’s normal for people to wash each other!

**Haha I do that:** the only people that think its normal for people to wash each other is Mondo and Taka, and theyre dating

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** that’s cause theyre icky boys!

**Gordon ramsey kin: @everyone** breakfast is ready!! Also please do come down in your towels ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server** 11:58am_

**Happy birthday raven: @everyone** did anyone get the algebra notes

**ARHAHAHA:** I did yeah

**Happy birthday raven:** can I come round to your dorm at lunch to get them?

**ARHAHAHA:** uh sure

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server** 12:34pm_

**Happy birthday raven:** WHAT THE FUCK

**ARHAHAHA:** I CA N EX PLAIN

**Gordon ramsey kin:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Happy birthday raven:** HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THOUSANDS OF DEAD MEMES PRINTED ON YOUR WALL

**Haha I do that:** IOEJARGSIUOFRKFD WHAT

**ARHAHAHA:** I C A N E X P L A I N

**ARHAHAHA:** THEY WERE ON THE WALLS WHEN I GOT THE DORM

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** MIKAN IS FOAMING OUT OF THE MOUTH A SYMPTOM OF RABIES

**Happy birthday raven:** BULLSHIT THERE ARE REALLY RECENT DEAD MEMES ON THE WALL

**I don’t need friends:** Jesus

**ARHAHAHA:** ITS LIKE A RITUAL

**XD:** OWO WHATS THIS

***nuzzles & kisses*:** UWU INDEED

**Men fill me with hope:** NO STOP A FUED BETWEEN ULTIMATE BRINGS SO MUCH DESPAIR

**Big papa:** I DON’T SEE THE PROBLEM?

**I cant swim:** I could remove them for you young master?

**Happy birthday raven:** PLEASE DO PEKO

**Gordon ramsey kin:** so like is peko calling u young master a kink thing or?

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** ewwwwww that’s so gross! Shutupshutupshutupshutup

_L’oreal has muted the chat for 5 hours! Reason: shut the fuck up_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! also question does anyone have a link to that one chat fic that has the random line "does it LOOK like akane washes her hair" because i remember reading it and ic ant find it???


	3. Party Rockers in the house tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t need friends: *kazuichi voice* Whhwhhhwhy dddodoodo yyoyyyou doooodooo thhhissss toooooo mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEE
> 
> Im your freestyle dance teacher: *nekomaru voice* DOODOO?? DO YOU MEAN SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
> 
> 2 shots of vodka: *mahiru voice* I hate this f*cking family.
> 
> Haha I do that: whyd you censor fuck
> 
> 2 shots of vodka: BECAUSE IT’S A BAD FUCKING WORD CHIAKI YOU DUMBASS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The changed names will be at the end! Happy Halloween!

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server** 2:05pm_

**Haha I do that:** **@everyone** whats yalls plans for Halloween

**PATRICA:** We’re probably just going to get some candy, then go back to Ibuki and Hiyoko’s dorms and watch some movies!

**ARHAHAHA:** i keep forgetting that ibuki and hiyoko are rich nd have a fuckin wide screen tv on their wall??

**Happy birthday raven:** yeah and all you have on your walls is dead memes

**ARHAHAHA:** >:(

**Actual Asahina:** ignoring that, yea tbh?? most of our class is famous?? and since we became ultimates we’re kinda famous as well?????

**Big papa:** ITS SO WEIRD!!!!!! EVEN THOUGH IM JUST A TEAM MANAGER I GOT ASKED FOR MY SIGNATURE??

**Gordon ramsey kin:** The hanamura diner is actually quite big now, which suprises me but im suppppper glad!!!

**Haha I do that:** while amn proud of yall only mahiru has said what shes doin

**PATRICA:** It’s rude to keep a girl waiting!

**Actual Asahina:** me and nekomaru are gonna raid the kitchens:)

**Gordon ramsey kin:** YOU W H A T

**Big papa:** I DIDN’T AGREE TO THIS!!!

**Happy birthday raven:** me n peko gotta go do this fucking speech thing for the school with the other ‘addams family members’ or smth

**I cant swim:** We’ll be finished at around 7pm.

**Haha I do that:** thnx baby gansta and sword wife

**Happy birthday raven:** btich ill ifte you

**I cant swim:** After you’ve finished your cookie dough.

**Haha I do that:** sword mom?

**XD:** My parents asked that me and Gundham go to Novoselic for a press comfrence, so we will sadly be on the plane for Halloween! We will be leaving at around 5pm Halloween night!

**ARHAHAHA:** WAIT?? GUNDHAMS GOING WITH YOU?

**XD:** yall hear something

***nuzzles & kisses*:** shes my girlfriend, of course id go with her…?

**Actual Asahina:** OOOO HE DROPPED HIS NORMAL TYPING STYLEE

**Big papa:** YOUR IN TROUBLEEEEEEEEEEE

**I’m men:** dunno, just trying to focus on not getting izuru out

**Men fill me with hope:** Huh? Why?

**Haha I do that:** bad memories and stuff

**I don’t need friends:** Just going to hand out candy, I guess.

**Men fill me with hope:** I doubt anyone would want to see me so ill be in my dorm!

**Haha I do that:** what about you kaz

**ARHAHAHA:** leon stole one of those automatic baseball throwing things so imma modify it so we can yeet candy at kids

**Haha I do that:** understandable have nice day

**Gordon ramsey kin:** I don’t have a clue actually

**Haha I do that:** WELL LUCKY FOR OYU GUYS YALLS FAVOURITE C L ASS REP

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** HAHA ASS

**Haha I do that:** IS THROWING A PARTY!!!!!!

**Haha I do that:** chisa said shell let us as long as we all contripute so you could help decorate or bring food or smth

**Men fill me with hope:** I can help decorate if you would like!

**Haha I do that:** thatd be great nagito!!

**Men fill me with hope:** wwwow an ultimate congratulating worthless trash like me?!

**Actual Asahina:** I can help decorate to make sure he doesn’t get a hope boner

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** a honer (hope boner)

**Big papa:** I- 

**PATRICA:** I hate this fucking family.

**Happy birthday raven:** you could say that again

**PATRICA:** I hate this fucking family.

**I cant swim:** You walked right into that one, young master.

**Happy birthday raven:** *kazuichi voice* wwwwwwwwhyyyyyyyyy meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

**ARHAHAHA:** I am going to shove a wrench up your ass

**Gordon ramsey kin:** oooooo you’d like that wouldn’t you ;)

**I don’t need friends:** *kazuichi voice* Whhwhhhwhy dddodoodo yyoyyyou doooodooo thhhissss toooooo mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEE

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** *nekomaru voice* DOODOO?? DO YOU MEAN SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

**2 shots of vodka:** *mahiru voice* I hate this f*cking family.

**Haha I do that:** whyd you censor fuck

**2 shots of vodka:** BECAUSE IT’S A BAD FUCKING WORD CHIAKI YOU DUMBASS

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** (0 3 0)

**2 shots of vodka:** i-i-iim sorrry iffff mmmmyyyy wwwwww-www-words hhhhu-u-uurt yyyyyouuu chiiiakkii!! whhyyy ammm iiii toooo st u ipd toodo aaanythting righttg????????????????

**XD:** mikan youre not stupid! youre smarter then Kazuichi!

**ARHAHAHA:** hey!!

**2 shots of vodka:** bbbutttt thhhats s-s-settting the bbbbbarrrr ttoooo looowwwww!!!!

**ARHAHAHA:** HEY!!!

**XD:** haha stupid puny bitc boi

***nuzzle & kisses*:** c̡̫͙̲̼̙̺̼͛̒̈́͗͢ͅh͚̳̻̞͍̥͇̗͚͒́̈̈́̚ȉ͙̪̗̻̻͚̯ͬ̅̊̄ͅa̸̵̧͎̰̰̗͎̼̽ͪ̏̅ͭ͊k̸̳̪͓̹͍̈́̍̔̎ͭ̈́͂īͫ́ͪ͌҉̹͈̫͚͍̯̳̤ ̥̦ͫ͗̋̌́̉ͯ͢ͅmͥ͛͗͏̬̥͉͈͖̩̲͚̝ã̌̇͢͏̰̻ȳ̢̟͉ ̴̨̫̯̮̺̳͔͊̓̾̉̚i̶̟̲̺͕͊͠ ̶̪̝̾̒ͨ̒̅m͕̭̗̺͙̲̬͈͊ͤ̈ͣͪ̆͋͊̄ē̵̅̔ͮ̕͏̰̦͎̟̻͖͖͈̭m̴͔͔̮ͯ̏̾e̸ͬ̄̓ͭ͊̍̕͏̠̬̗

**Haha I do that:** sure gundham

***nuzzles & kisses***: ahem  
Kazuichi: h-  
Sonia: *cocks gun* ẗ̴̲̻̦͔́̾̑̀̑͛̈h̪̳͙̼̰̳͈̻͚̄͐̑̂͑i̡̦͓͚͌͗̔͐ͯͨͣ̾̎͟s̶̸̬̥̰̖͔̰͊̿̀̔ͬͣ͟ͅ ̶̵͖͇̟̮͉́͂͘i̶̴̖̘͙̮͍̿̐͌̍̃ͩ̌̊ͪͅs̛̞̲͚̤̹̺̞ͯ̕ ̶͌͒ͤ̄҉̫̖̪͖̼h̠̘̦̳̩̩͋͒͗̍ͫ͡ͅo̷̳ͪ̍͌̐̔ͨ̂͌̚͝ẁ͓͍̃͂̀ͧ͟͠ ͮ͆̅͛͂ͬͫͯ̓͠҉͉̳̝̺ͅw͙͇̮͖̩̯͑͒͒̔͆͛ͥͭͧ͘͠e̸̷̡͇͚͕̱̭̙̯͖ͣ̃̿͊͋ͭ̚ ͕̣̰̰̼̘̭̤́̎͋̅̊͐̀ͦ͝ͅd͎ͦǫͣ͒̾ͯ̆ͪ͏̦̺̝͕̯͉̠ ̢̗̲͙̦̳ͩ̉̆̈́ͬ̏͘į̠͉͍̖̓̊̂͗̎͊̀͛ͅţ̛͂ͩͪ̿̊̉ͭͭ͏͍̗͖̳ ̲ͫͪ̋͐͂͠͡i̩̟͉͖̲̫̖̊ͅǹ̸͙͚̺̏̌̓̔ͬ̿ ̺̩̹͖̗̙ͥ̌̑m̗͔͚̦̟̞͍̾̈ͪ͐̐̌̌y͔͔̪̠͉͌̓̓̏̆̂͠ ̧̲͖͉̈̏͊͂̽̑c̡̣̗̹͕ͥ̏ͧ̽ͭ̒ͬ̚͜o̪̝͚ͧ͑̈u̵̝̹ͣ̃̓̄̌ͯͮnͪ̓ͣ̉̊ͪ҉͕͉̻̩̟̟̹ͅţ̸̤̞̗̤̗ͪ̽̿̇ͬͅṛ̢͍̻̫̦̰͉͈ͯ͑̈̇͝͠y̱̆̄ͧͮ̿̚͝ ̼̮̜̬͓͉̪͋ͫ̇ͦͪb̬͚̭̺̞̿̿̊̚͢ḯ̘̜̯̮̞̫̳͑̎̍t̻̪̖̙̑̿̿͒ͧͫ͢c͇͎̯̤̔ͬ̐͒̀ͮh̐͆̑̉ͭ̍͌̿͌҉̦͖͓͙͉

_Haha I do that has changed *nuzzles & kisses* to Furry memelord_

**Furry memelord:** you will be damned to hell, set upon the nearest fire burning with anticipation to devour you whole

**XD:** aww we don’t have matching nicknames anymore :(

_Haha I do that has changed XD to Furry memequeen_

**Furry memequeen:** :D

**Actual Asahina:** whenever im sad I remember tenko once called angies god a degenerate and angie replied with “my dear tenko, atua is gay” and just left tenko so confused

**I cant swim:** I’m demisexual, actually.

**Happy birthday raven:** peko ily so much

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** HEY MIKAN UR A MEDICAL EXPERT RIGHT?? IF A GIRL HAS COOTIES AND A BOY DOESN’T, WHEN TO GIRLS KISS DO THEY GT DOUBLE COOTIES??? OR DOES IT CANCL OIUT???? AND WHEN TOO GUYS KISS DO THEY GET RID OF ALL PREVIOUSLY GOTTEN COOTIES??? OR DO THEY GET COOTIES????????? OR AM I THNKING TWO INTU THIS?????

**PATRICA:** Did you spell two all three different ways, but somehow wrong everytime?

**2 shots of vodka:** uhm I don’t know?? Ask me again when I have alcohol in my system??

**Haha I do that:** well somone is gonna have to bring alcohol to the party

**Furry memequeen:** I can legally buy alcohol because im above the law! This shall be my gift!

**ARHAHAHA:** you truly are above the law miss Sonia!!

**Furry memequeen:** perish bottom

**Big papa:** MY HOBBY IS TELLING PEOPLE ON OMEGLE THAT USE THE DEPRESSION TAG THAT THEIR LOVED

**I cant swim:** Were you the guy that told me to “go get this baby twink sounding ass. and after you get his ass whipped you should go take a good shit”

**Actual Asahina:** who else would say that

**Happy birthday raven:** whos baby twink sounding ass that you need to whip and why didn’t you tell me id love to meet this guy then beat his ass

**Haha I do that:** *that one tik tok sound voice* oh honey

**Im men:** did Sonia just call kazuichi a bottom

**Men fill me with hope:** You should never doubt talented ultimates hajime!

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** sonias secret ultimate is being able to tell at a glance if somseons a bottom or not

**I don’t need friends:** No, she can only tell if Kazuichi is a bottom.

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** you make a good point ham hands

**Actual Asahina:** I could go for some ham rn,,,

**Gordon ramsey kin:** One huuuuuge ham coming up!

**Gordon ramsey kin:** Yknow what else is huge?;)

**Actual Asahina:** my appetite

**Men fill me with hope:** My love for hope! (or men)

**Haha I do that:** my game collection

**2 shots of vodka:** mmy anxiety :(

**PATRICA:** My scrap book collection!

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** my hatred of everyone but mahiru

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** MY GUITAR COLLECTION!!!!!!!!!!

**L’oreal:** Don’t know, don’t care.

**Haha I do that:** hi izuru!

**Happy birthday raven:** my hatERED OF FUCKKING MILK IT SUCKS

**I cant swim:** The pile of bodies in the basement.

**Big papa:** MY CONCERN FOR PEKO RIGHT NOW

**I don’t need friends:** My make-up collection.

**Furry memequeen:** my country’s army!

**ARHAHAHA:** I don’t know but I want to contribute to the joke

**Furry memelord:** The blazing hell fire burning inside of me!

**Gordon ramsey kin:** :(((((

**Gordon ramsey kin:** I mean my dik

_L’oreal has kicked Gordon ramsey kin!_

**L’oreal:** The evil has been defeated.

**Actual Asahina:** IJOSDKGBOIFJNRGDFKIOVIHEJNDFSHUSGVDJNCM

**Happy birthday raven:** nice

**Big papa:** I-

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** thanc fuCK

**Men fill me with hope**: I usually wouldn’t recommend going against an ultimate but he deserved it!

_Haha I do that has changed L’oreal to Teruteru Slayer_

**Furry memelord:** The demon has been defeated for good!

**Furry memequeen:** he shant hurt anyone any longer with dick jokes!!

_Actual Asahina has added Gordon ramsey kin to Chiaki’s Mincraft Server!_

**Gordon ramsey kin:** WHATS UP FUCKERS

**2 shots of vodka:** wwhy do you have my phone?

**Gordon ramsey kin:** FUCK U THAT’S WHY

**Actual Asahina:** he bribed me w/ food

**Big papa:** WELL WE ALL HAVE OUR WEAKNESSES AKANE!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** STINKY LIL PERVERT MEN GETS THE STINKY LIL PERVERT BOX!!!!

**Gordon ramsey kin:** WAIT NAH NAWT THA BOX

**Big papa:** APPARENTLY TERUTERUS WEAKNESS IS A BOX!

**ARHAHAHA:** me age 6 eating a rock: party roccs in the sodaa tonight

**Furry memequeen:** may I request soda also sit in the box?

**ARHAHAHA:** :(

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** OF COURS!!!!!

**ARHAHAHA:** D:

**Haha I do that:** quagsire…

**I cant swim:** hiyoko and minions are the ssame ad I will ariticate bth

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** bitch

**PATRICA:** Peko?

**Happy birthday raven:** I apologize. Young Master has stolen my phone and is running.

**Haha I do that:** why

**I cant swim:** TH LAW

**ARHAHAHA:** I bet hes Naruto running

**I cant swim:** IM NOTT A FCKIN WEEWAB

**Men fill me with hope:** Important reminder! Hajime is not the only one with an Ahoge!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IBUKI HAS TWO AHOGES :3

**PATRICA:** Cursed. I hate it. Get it off my lawn.

**2 shots of vodka:** ok boomer

**Actual Asahina:** I HAVE DRANK 4 PINT OF MILK IN THE PAST 2 DAYS I COULD CRUSH A MAN USING MY WRIST BONES

**Big papa:** YOU FOOL

**Gordon ramsey kin:** owo

**Big papa:** YOU ABSOLUTE BAFFON

**Teruteru slayer:** Fuck off you furry.

**Haha I do that:** izuru rememember be rootin be tootin but most importantly be kind

**Big papa:** I HAVE DRUNKEN 5 PINTS OF MILK IN THE PAST HOUR I AM UNSTOPPABLE I HAVE THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SKELLYS ENLISTED IN THE SKELETON FUCKING ARMY ON MY SIDE

**Actual Asahina:** I have thighs tho

**Gordon ramsey kin:** delicious

**Big papa:** wait youre right

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** BACK INTO THE BOX!!

**I cant swim:** minions like baannas hiyokos hair isbanncanes minions are annyonig hiyokos annoying minions are midgets hiyokso are kimdihtrs

**PATRICA:** Blocked, reported. You come into MY house, disrespect HIYOKO. Take ONE more step and you’ll be in a coma that is fanfiction worthy.

**I don’t need friends:** Hi yes, Mahiru, what the frick does this mean?

**PATRICA:** (:

**2 shots of vodka:** wwhy is (: worse then :)

**Big papa:** :) IS A SMILEY FACE BUT (: IS YOUR MOTHER PEERING THROUGH THE DOOR AT YOU, DISSAPOINTED THAT YOU ARENT OUT THERE LVING YOUR BEST LIFE. GO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE. DON’T DISSAPOINT UR MOTHER

_PATRICA has changed their name to Mother_

**Haha I do that:** imagine naming ur dog 5 miles becasue lol i walk 5 miles every day and ur dad comes hme and says i ran over 5 miles and ur like lol jhow was ur run adn he says no it was wit my car

**ARHAHAHA:** my dad did that once

_Mother has changed their name to Disappointed mother_

**Disappointed mother:** Chiaki, I am going to disown you.

**I don’t need friends:** Only one of us can be disappointed.

_Im your freestyle dance teacher has changed Disappointed mother to Tomato mother!_

**Tomato mother:** Thank you Hiyoko! <33

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** uur welcome <3

**2 shots of vodka:** stuttering is my thing :(

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** mcshut up bitch

<strike>**Haha I do that:** yall act like you aren’t cuddle rn tbh</strike> [Deleted]

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** I will eat you are spine! :D

**Gordon ramsey kin:** sounds kinky

**Men fill me with hope:** Who changed my neopets password to “isucctoesuwu123”

**Teruteru slayer:** You deserve it.

**Men fill me with hope:** What I did do? Im not doubting you though! You have so much hope running through you!

**Haha I do that:** nagitoes

**Men fill me with hope:** Stop

**ARHAHAHA:** is a baby trying to eat ur finger considered vore or?

**Furry memelord:** please for the sake of the sanity of humanity stop hanging out with miu iruma

**ARHAHAHA:** says the furry

**Gordon ramsey kin:** I mean it might be?

**2 shots of vodka:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Big papa:** MIKAN P L E A S E

**2 shots of vodka:** succ my nagitoes

**Actual Asahina:** oh my god

**Happy birthday raven:** yes?

**Haha I do that:** **@everyone** chisa wants to know what yall are going to do to help the party

**Gordon ramsey kin:** I can cook if you’d like!

**Haha I do that:** thatd be great but im thinking we just celebrate Halloween with like chi[s or smth

**Gordon ramsey kin:** I’ll make great chips then!

**Haha I do that:** hhh fine

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IBUKIS DOING MUSIC!!!

**Happy birthday raven:** You better not play shit?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** *PLAYS DISCORD ON LOOP* >:3

**Furry memequeen: @2 shots of vodka** your gf is going through her scene phase come get her

**2 shots of vodka:** iits not a phase Sonia

**Actual Asahina:** still get super confused when peko speaks on fuyuhikos phone

**Happy birthday raven:** Young master has passed out. We could clean up afterwards because we have to be at the press conference.

**I’m men:** why was izuru’s laptop opened onto “hopenmen”’s neopets account what the hell did I miss

**Haha I do that:** thanks sword mom

**Tomato mother:** I thought I was the mom? :(

**ARHAHAHA:** lesbian mothers? Sounds hot I guess

**Tomato mother: **DEGENERATE.

**Happy birthday raven:** I’m sorry to say but, someone else has the object of my affections.

**Im your freestyle dance teacher:** Blocked, reported. You come into MY house, disrespect MAHIRU. Take ONE more step and you’ll be cremated while you sleep.

**Actual Asahina:** TENKO?????

**Tomato mother:** Sorry it’s just out of habit! Me, Tenko and Celestia have weekly meetings about how much we hate men!

**I’m men:** im feeling a little unsafe

**Tomato mother:** g̷̢̨͔̥̙͎̗̤̺̠̗̗̜̬͆́ơ̶̛̰͋̀̀̐̑͛̑̿̓̿͝ơ̷͓̖̖̟͓͕̦͓̰̥̥̻͌̿͊̒͊̾̎́̅͒̈́͌͘̕ͅd̸̗̯̫̩͐́͑̅̀͊͛̕̕̚!

**Furry memequeen:** I’m assuming the person peko likes is “baby twink sounding ass”?

**Happy birthday raven:** Yes.

**Haha I do that:** WAIT

_Haha I do that has changed Im your freestyle dance teacher to Banana mother_

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IF HIYOKOS RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO BE A MOTHER IBUKI IS STRAIGHT

**Banana mother:** mahiru can we go adopt a kid so I can prove that ibuki is wrong

**Tomato mother:** I mean, if you have one in mind?

_Banana mother sent [bullyingkidsonroblox.png](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6d/1e/87/6d1e8782c8bee7f31a3f22cc210a9954.jpg)_

**Men fill me with hope:** Wait I know her?

**Banana mother:** this is kotoko shes my daughter and ill throw hands for her

**Big papa:** HIYOKO YOU CANT STEAL A PERSONS CHILD

**Banana mother:** suck my nagitoes bitch

**Haha I do that:** **@everyone** I HATE HAVING TO SCREAM BUT 1. HIYOKO REUTRN THE CHILD 2. YALL STILL HAVENT SAID WHAT UR DOING

**2 shots of vodka:** yall

**I’m men:** I can also decorate

**I don’t need friends:** Just say you want to see Nagito’s honer (hope boner).

**I’m men:** no I do not want to see nagito’s fucking honer (hope boner). If I wanted to see his fucking honer (hope boner) then I’d fucking walk into his room.

**Happy birthday raven:** Try and calm down hajime

**I don’t need friends:** I’ll also help with snacks.

**Tomato mother:** Me and hiyoko can work on games and things!

**Haha I do that:** ill help uo as well

**ARHAHAHA:** I could hook up some fairy lights or somrhting?

**Haha I do that:** thatll be great!

_**Everyone in our class is an idiot** 2:46pm_

**Soft:** The alcohol is in my mini fridge!

**Egirl:** thanks Sonia uwu

**Evil:** Do you think this will truly work?

**Egirl:** I’ve seen mikan drunk exactly once and she told everyone what she thought of them

**Egirl:** she said she thought nagitos hair was clouds and that’s why she tried to eat it when they first met

**Soft:** as the kids say – oh mood!

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server** 4:58pm_

**Furry memequeen:** Me and gundham are heading onto the airplane now! Have a good Halloween!! Make sure to text us if anything interesting happens!

**Haha I do that:** speaking of the party go do yalls jobs

**Im men:** yall

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server** 7:02pm_

**I can’t swim:** We’re finished. Heading over now.

**Haha I do that: @everyone** CEOM TO MY ROOM!! WE GOT GAMES AND SNACCS

\- Wow actual writing? In my chat fic? Its more likely than you think –

Chiaki threw her phone to the side as everyone slowly started arriving. Quickly everyone gathered around on the chairs and sitting on the floor.

“I’m glad you could all come!” buzzed Chiaki, over the quiet chattering between classmates. Like they had said, they were all in costume and they all looked great. She was trying her hardest not to fall asleep, all this preparation took the live out of her.

“Can we get on with the games already?!” Exclaimed Hiyoko, dressed in all red. She was impatiently toying with her red scrunchie.

“Fine fine!” She laughed securing the Mario hat onto her head. “Who wants to play truth or dare?” She asked, earning her a couple upstretched hands. “Well this game has a…. twist you could say.” She held up a bottle of whisky. “You have to spin this bottle to decide who it lands on. When it lands on you, you have to take a drink then answer.” It seemed like a stupid addition to the game but Chiaki knew her classmates had really low liquor tolerances.

“Can we get going?” Yelled Soda from his hazmat suit. Teruteru gave everyone drinks and chips before they started. Food and drinks Kazuichi couldn’t eat or drink while he had a hazmat suit on.

Chiaki spun the bottle to determine who would go first. She tried to focus on the bottle spinning around and around but couldn’t help but notice Mikan taking a small sip from her cup, with Ibuki hanging off her shoulder. She smiled to herself as the bottle landed on Peko.

Peko, clearly tired but trying her best to pay attention, span the bottle. It landed on Mikan.

Mikan didn’t realize until she heard her name being called sternly.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to ignore you!” She stammered grabbing the bottle and taking a huge sip.

“Truth or dare?” Peko asked finally.

“T-truth?” Peko could see the worry on Mikan’s face, so she opted for a calmer question.

“What was the last thing you texted?” Mikan dug around in her tacky green purse for her phone.

“It was to Ibuki,” She started smiling, “It says ‘I’ll see you there! Hope you have lots of fun!’ with one of those little heart emojis!” A couple people awed, while others groaned at how sweetly sick it was.

“Spice it up a bit!” Teruteru shouted, scratching the stupid blond Gordon Ramsey wig.

“Sorry!” Mikan said again, spinning the bottle. The bottle landed on Nekomaru. Without hesitating Nekomaru took a drink from the bottle before setting it down again.

“Dare!” He shouted before Mikan could ask. Mikan stared into her drink for a bit before shouting.

“Let Hiyoko do your hair!” Hiyoko’s face lit up while Nekomaru kept a grin. Akane, to his left started hollering with laughter as Hiyoko pulled out a couple pink hair clips and put Nekomaru’s hair into a ponytail.

Once Hiyoko was done with the monstrosity, Nekomaru proudly showed off his new updo to the group. “Wow! I’ll have to get you to do my hair more often!” He laughed wholeheartedly.

He span the bottle around and it landed on Peko. Peko was about to sip the bottle before Fuyuhiko stopped her. “Hold on that’s rigged! She just asked a question! You cant make her do that!” It was hard to take him seriously while he was dressed in a full suit, far to big for him.

Peko flashed him a rare smile, her long hair free of her normal plaits falling around her face, “Young master, I’ll be ok.” She took a great swig before setting it down like nothing happened.

“Truth or dare?” Nekomaru asked, carefully putting his fake chef hat onto his new hair.

“Truth.”

“Ok, describe the guy you ranted to me over omegle about.” Nekomaru had a devious smile no one realized he could make before this.

“W-well.” She blushed rubbing the back of her neck, “He’s loud, and small and really pessimistic but a really good person deep down…” her hands muffled the last couple of words.

The class tried to hold back laughter, but congratulating her all the same. Peko spun, not being able to uncover her face. It landed on imposter.

They casually choose dare, not even batting an eye when Peko told them to take off their makeup and wig.

“I knew this was coming eventually.” They took a deep sigh before taking a sip. When they spun the bottle it landed on Peko, again. Everyone agreed to let everyone else have a go. Peko took a sip anyway (after Chiaki insisted) and they spun again. It landed on Kazuichi.

“If you could only hear one song for the rest of your live, what would it be?” They asked while he drank.

“Baby shark.” He said bluntly before spinning it. He kept a completely straight face while everyone lost their shit.

It landed on Akane, who also quickly said dare.

“Everything you say has to rhyme until the next game!” He said with pride.

“Oh come on that’s borningg!!” Yelled Akane. Akane had nearly 3 drinks now. She paused for a second before saying “…in this room there is flooring?” She was not the smartest.

The bottle span before it landed on Chiaki.

“Truth or dare! …you fucking nightmare?” Yeah this dare was getting the better of Akane.

“Truth.” Chiaki really didn’t want to embarrass herself.

“Uhhhhhhhhh whats the worst game you’ve ever played? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh fire brigade?” Akane winced, looking like she was about to die from stress.

“There was this fucking hello kitty game that didn’t work that I bought once and I cried playing it.” Chiaki tried to skip forward as quick as she could. She span the bottle again for it to land on Hiyoko.

“Give me your best dare you pussy!” Laughed Hiyoko.

Chiaki smirked. “Trade clothes with Mahiru.” The two girls silently shrugged and went into the bathroom to change.

“…So do we just wait for them?” Asked Nagito.

Luckily (ha) the two girls returned soon afterwards, Hiyoko now sporting a blue cardigan that was far too long for her and Mahiru with a red scrunchie sitting on top of her short equally as red hair.

Speaking of Mahiru, as Hiyoko spun the bottle it landed on her.

“I’m scared of what you would make me do if I chose dare!” Mahiru laughed, trying to keep the scrunchie on her head.

“Whats your least favourite part of yourself?” Hiyoko asked after a long pause. She stared earnestly up into the taller girls eyes.

“…My freckles…” Mahiru let out a soft chuckle as Hiyoko happily bounced back.

Mahiru span the bottle and watched in land on Ibuki.

“Is it just me or are they even in sync when spinning bottles?” Hajime asked. The three girls shrugged.

“Give Ibuki your worst dare Mahiru!!”

“Mix orange juice and milk and drink it.” Ibuki happily did so, making sure to thumbs up everyone while doing it.

Ibuki focused on the bottle as she span it. It landed on Fuyuhiko who laughed and threatened ibuki to ‘do her worst’. She did.

“What.” He stared at her dumb founded.

“Kiss Peko!” Laughed Ibuki, her arm draped around Mikan’s neck.

He stared down at the bottle. That damn bottle.

“Ibuki, I don’t think he’s comfortable wi-“ Peko got cut off mid-way as Fuyuhiko planted a small kiss on her cheek. He turned away shly blushing, as Peko put her hand onto the place he had kissed her.

“Let’s go Peko…” He grabbed Peko’s hand and they met their way out of to the door. They said their goodbyes as their class mates told them to wear protection.

“Who’s next?” Pouted Ibuki.

“You can spin again if you’d like?” Offered Chiaki, frankly, she was getting quite tired already.

Ibuki’s eyes lit up as she spinned once again. “Hajimeee!!” She cheered, passing the bottle to him.

“Truth please.” He took his first sip of the night.

“Hmm, whats the worst part of sharing a body with Izuru?”

“Definitlly the weird things they do, that I have no memory of. Like why would they even have a neopets account?” He sounded extremely concerned, making Nagito shift in his seat, embarrassed.

From his chair Hajime leaned down and spun it, landing on Nagito.

“A dare!” He told Hajime.

“Could you write us another one of your ‘gay essays’?”

Without having to be asked twice Nagito stood up straight, “As a man who loves other men, I have to say, I hate the idea of being with a woman. When people try and ask me, ‘Oh when are you getting a girlfriend?’ my expression is that of disgust, nay – despair. The first moment I ever felt hope was when I first set eyes on a man. Men, oh men, they light up my life and give me happiness-“

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh so boring!” Yelled Hiyoko, covering her eyes with the floppy sleeves.

“Be rooting, be tooting be kind, Hiyoko!” Chiaki mockingly put her hands.

Nagito tried his best to ignore them, as he spun the bottle. It landed on a couple people who already played, before it finally landed on Teruteru, the final person.

“What’s the worst dish you’ve ever ate?”

“Well!” Nagito laughed as he faked Gordon Ramsey’s accent, “The canteen food here is absolute SHIT! I could cook better then that, with my hands bound AND WITH A BLIND FOLD!”

After the laughter of a few drunk ultimates calmed down, Mikan turned to Chiaki and asked, “W-whats next?”

Chiaki grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chiaki: Haha I do that  
Izuru: Teruteru slayer  
Hajime: I’m Men  
Nagito: Men fill me with hope  
Akane: Actual Asahina  
Fuyuhiko: Happy birthday raven  
Gundham: Furry memelord  
Hiyoko: Banana mother  
Ibuki: LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT  
Kazuichi: ARHAHAHA  
Mahiru: Tomato mother  
Mikan: 2 shots of vodka  
Nekomaru: Big papa  
Peko: I cant swim  
Imposter: I don’t need friends  
Sonia: Furry memequeen  
TeruTeru: Gordon ramsey kin
> 
> Happy halloween yall!! This is part one, i really wanted to get this out for halloween, so part two will come soon!


	4. Where In the world is Mikan Tsumiki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haha I do that: I did a cool ass punch and that’s what we should remember
> 
> Gordon ramsey kin: mmmmm I remember that punch ;)
> 
> ARHAHAHA: we don’t want to know what you jerk it to everynight thanks
> 
> Happy birthday raven: its easy to know what YOU jerk it to every night
> 
> TW FOR THIS CHAPTER - Implied r*pe, kidnapping, abuse, mention of s//cid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another tw, stay safe everyone.

_**Protecc!!!** 4:34pm_

**Pinkie pie kin:** Mikan??

**Pinkie pie kin:** Mikan ibukis really scared were are you???

**Pinkie pie kin:** Mikan please tell ibuki… ibuki is worried about you so bad!!!

**Pinkie pie kin:** you weren’t in classes!!!

_**Oh my god they were roommates** 4:50pm_

**Tomato chan:** Mikan? Please respond as soon as you can.

**Tomato chan:** Where did you go this morning?

**Tomato chan:** Everyone is worried Mikan!

**Tomato chan:** We aren’t mad we just want to make sure you’re ok!!

_**Secret besties** 4:51pm_

**Tsundere:** hey mikan where are you ibuki and mahiru are freaking out its so annoying

**Tsundere:** im not tho

**Tsundere:** …ok that might have been a lie. mikan where the fuck are you we are super worried

**Tsundere:** im really really really sorry for everything ive ever said just I want to know if your ok please please please

_**Mikan rescue squad **5:00pm_

**Ibuki:** any luck???

**Mahiru:** No sorry…

**Hiyoko:** are you sure you haven’t seen her today ibuki?

**Ibuki:** ibuki’s 100% sure she hasn’t seen her. What about you mahiru??

**Mahiru:** No she wasn’t in our dorm this morning.

**Mahiru:** I remember hearing a noise in the early morning if that helps?

**Hiyoko:** do you think… she… got into your dorm

**Ibuki:** please don’t fucking mention her

**Ibuki:** Ibuki swears to gods ibuki is going to call the fucking police

**Mahiru:** Please try to calm down Ibuki, I know its stressful.

**Hiyoko:** we should really ask our class if they’ve seen her before getting the cops involved

**Mahiru:** Just in case I’ll contact Mukuro.

**Ibuki:** Ibuki swears to all the gods shes gonna beat the fuck outta junko if she did anything to mikan

**Hiyoko:** I wont hold you back

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server **5:05pm_

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: @everyone** emergency. Has anyone seen mikan since last night?

**Haha I do that:** no, didn’t she go back with you guys??

**I cant swim:** We didn’t see her while cleaning up, sorry.

**ARHAHAHA:** I could ask Chihiro to get me into the security cams?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** thatd be great thanks

**Men fill me with hope:** Not that I could help ultimates like you but I didn’t see anything from 10-4 last night

**Happy birthday raven:** was there any sign of a break in to her dorm? have your things been stolen/ things changed etc? have the locks been messed with? any sign of a forced entry?

**Tomato mother:** I’ve already checked, there isn’t any visible signs.

**I’m men:** don’t touch anything im on my way with kirigiri and saihara

**Big papa:** HAVE YOU CALLED THE POLICE YET?

**Banana mother:** we fear someone from another class got to her and we wouldn’t be able to involve the police if she had got her

**Actual Asahina:** is this why we aren’t allowed to say one of the underclassmen’s name?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** please don’t say her fucking name

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** but yeah we hope it wasn’t her.

** _Mikan rescue squad _ ** _5:10pm_

**Mahiru:** Code red, Mukuro says Junko left at 5 am and returned with drunk Mikan. She’s going to make sure Mikan is ok while we get her back.

**Ibuki:** OH FUCK OH SHIT

**Ibuki: **IM GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HER

**Hiyoko:** try to think straight ‘buks. we should get a couple strong people + the detectives and storm the place

**Mahiru:** Mukuro is keeping the door open for us.

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server: **5:12pm_

**Tomato mother:** **@Big**** papa ****@Actu****al**** Asahina** **@Happy**** birthday raven** **@I cant swim** Help. Please come to the 2nd year dorms, we’re getting Mikan back.

**I cant swim:** I’m bringing my sharpest swords, Mukuro already told me what happened. I’m on my way with young master.

**Furry memequeen:** give her an extra punch from me and gundham!!

\- Final Trigger Warning -

Mikan lay in a position she sadly knew all to well. Crying, mortified, tainted. She was freezing to the bone shaking. Striped of the costume Ibuki had lovingly made for her, all that was left on her was a bloody and ripped sheet from the struggle, lamely dropped on top of her in a crude attempt of covering her exposed body.

She could feel the cold, hard floor against her skin. Her own blood seeping out of her gaping wound above her breast, dripping down to where she lay in never ending agony. The memories of that night were a haze but she remembered playing a game with some others, saying some things that made others stunned, stumbling back to her dorm and the most recent memory, leaving against her will with Junko.

That name… It pained her to her inner core to even think of it, let alone wonder how even in her drunken state she let Junko do what she did.

She blamed herself.  
All her life she knew she was the one to blame for what happened to her.  
In this world, Mikan had to take all the blame for everyone’s actions.  
She knew she was the worst.  
That no one would ever love her as much as Junko claimed she did.  
That all the pain, trauma, sleepless nights, tear stained pillows, drops of blood, they were all just Junko showing her love.  
That she was inconsiderate for thinking what Junko did to her was bad.  
Junko knew best after all.

All of these things, Mikan knew deep down were lies, but she believed.

.  
..  
…

Mikan’s heart stopped, as she heard the taunting click, click, click, of Junko’s heels. Junko was back in the room.

She didn’t bother trying to decipher what she was saying.  
She was in too much pain.

She felt a boot against her face. Undoubtedly Junko’s.

She could make out an angry “HEY!! LOOK AT ME YOU SLUT!!” She didn’t have the energy to struggle against the rope fastening her wrists and ankles. She let out a small whimper as Junko pressed down on her face more and more.

She felt a swift boot to the head as she her vision went blurry.

_**Chiaki’s Minecraft Server **6:21pm_

**Furry memelord:** Any updates on Mikan’s situation? Have you slain the demon?

**I’m men:** The school kicked out ‘her’ temporarily, and are looking to see if they can sue her, for Mikan. The school already thought that she had something to do with Mukuro and a couple kids from the elementary trying to take their own lives. They’d need Mikan to testify though, and she’s not in a good state at the moment.

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** Can you tell Chisa that I wont be there for like, a week? I’m taking care of Mikan until shes better.

**Haha I do that:** of course! I wish you both well!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** Mikan wants to say something, “Hey everybody! Thank you for worrying about me! I’ll be fine!” Granted with a lot more stuttering

**Banana mother:** guess whos gonna fight a bitch

**Tomato mother:** Hiyoko NO.

**Actual Asahina:** already did

**Big papa:** I DID AS WELL!!

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** Don’t worry about your medical bills Mikan, I promised to stop impersonating Togami for a week if he paid them off.

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** “You didn’t have to do that Imposter!”

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** It’s the least I can do. :)

**Gordon ramsey kin:** UWU WHATS THIS DID THEY JUS :)

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** I’ll only use an :) for Mikan, no one else.

**Haha I do that:** Nekomaru, Mahiru and Imposter are the parents of the group,,,

**Men fill me with hope:** Da, Ma and Za respectfully!

**ARHAHAHA:** Nekomarus the one signs you up for all the sports, Mahiru gives you essential oils instead of vaccines and Imposter is the one that stands over you while your doing your homework yelling at you for doing it wrong while you cry knowing this trauma is going to scar you for life and that your going to drop out of school at age 13

**Tomato mother:** I’m giving my kids vaccines thank you very much.

**Big papa:** ID NEVER FORCE A CHILD TO DO SOMETHING THEY DIDN’T WANT!

**I don’t need friends the disappoint me:** That is… oddly specific? Are you ok Kazuichi?

**ARHAHAHA:** No im part of the daddy issuses gang

**Gordon ramsey kin:** whats the daddy issues gang

**Banana mother:** me mahiru shark boi glove girl and verruca salt all have daddy issues so we made a group were we go to therapy! also 2 of kotokos friends lettuce head and baby nekomaru go with us

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** “ah yes shark boi and glove girl my favourite movie”

**Men fill me with hope:** *that one vine voice* gasp monaca

**Banana mother:** THAT’S THE BITCH

**Actual Asahina:** is baby nekomaru masura? cause I love that funky lil kid. reminds me of babey me.

**Furry memelord:** *that hands meme* hiyoko blonde rich bitches byakuya

**Furry memequeen:** *that hands meme* hiyoko fuyuhiko blonde rich bitches byakuya natsumi

**Happy birthday raven:** wow you didn’t need to come for my entire life and my sisters like this

**I can’t swim:** I’d add Sonia but she isn’t a bitch.

**Furry memequeen:** your damn fucking right!!

**ARHAHAHA:** thanks miss Sonia I just got whiplash

**Tomato mother:** Hiyoko isn’t a bitch!

**Men fill me with hope:** And im not gay

**Haha I do that:** Fuyuhiko is the virgin mary…

**I’m men:** explain?

**Haha I do that:** god (peko)’s bitch

**Banana mother:** A VIRGIN LOSER

**Happy birthday raven:** SAYS YOU VIRGIN LOSER

**Banana mother:** JOKES ON YOU IM NOT

**Happy birthday raven:** NEITHER AM I

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **IF YOU FUCK MORE THEN ONCE IT ISNT A BROMANCE!~

**Banana mother:** I feel attacked

**Happy birthday raven:** IT IS

**I cant swim:** It is.

**Big papa:** KINDA REPLIED FAST THERE PEKO

**I cant swim:** Trust me I’m god.

**Big papa:** UNDERSTANBLE NICE DAY

**Haha I do that:** someone called me belle dehpnie today nd I cried

**I’m men:** hi im chiaki nanami the belle delphine kin

**Men fill me with hope:** no, belle delphine the chiaki nanami kin

**Actual Asahina:** wise words im going to go spam ur tki tok with that

**Gordon ramsey kin:** I could make a lot of money pretending to be a cooking loli on tiktok

**Furry memequeen:** gasp!! COOKING MAMA!

**Haha I do that:** COOKING MAMA IS NOT A LOLI

**Big papa:** I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE

**Furry memelord:** DO NOT DOUBT THE DARK LADY

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** DO YOU THINK TERU TERU BUSTS A NUT WHENEVER HE HEARS COOKING MAMA??

**Actual Asahina:** I FUCKING HOPE NOT

**Men fill me with hope:** HGHHHHHHH- TERUTERU HEARING COOKING MAMA

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** MY SON WOULDN’T FAIL NO NUT NOVEMBER

**Tomato mother:** NO NUT NOVEMBER IS SEXIST AND SHOULDN’T EXIST

**ARHAHAHA:** SUCK MY NAGITOES

**I’m men:** CENSOR YOUR FUCKING SWEARS KAZ

**Banana mother:** INSULT BIG SIS MAHIRU AND ILL MAKE YOU MAHIRUN FOR YOUR LIFE

**I cant swim:** SAIONJI YOU ARE TINY YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE ON KAZUICHI

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** “SO LOUD :(“

**Happy birthday raven:** YOU ARENT EVEN HERE MIKAN

**Gordon ramsey kin:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Teruteru slayer:** Shut the fuck up Teruteru.

**Haha I do that:** They appear just to insult teruteru, absolutely iconic.

**Teruteru slayer:** Oh, hello Chiaki!..

**Happy birthday raven:** whipped

**Banana mother:** says you

**Happy birthday raven:** sAyS YoU

**Banana mother:** touchy

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** “It’s spelled touché”

**ARHAHAHA:** yo ibuki whys mikan typing on ypur phone?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **"SHE" BROKE MIKANS PHONE

**ARHAHAHA:** oh shit sorry

**Furry memequeen:** Kazuichi be like: clown noises

**Furry memelord:** a true and utter baffon, truly the court jester.

**Big papa:** WHO EVEN TAUGHT THEM HOW TO MEME?

**Haha I do that:** Sonia just memes on instinct, I don’t know if gundham is really trying to meme or not

**Actual Asahina:** he isn’t trying to meme hes just a world class shitposter

**ARHAHAHA:** ultimate shitposter

**Tomato mother:** Is Izuru the ultimate shitposter?

**Men fill me with hope:** me accidently hitting animals in animal crossing with my shovel: oops lol. chiaki, running from the other side of the school holding a gun finally going to kill me like i wanted for the past years since the day my dog got hit by a truck: STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM

**Teruteru slayer:** Incorrect, Chiaki is with me.

**Gordon ramsey kin:** OWO whats she doing with you izzy

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** HIYOKO PLEASE PUT TERUTERU IN THE STINKY PERVERT MAN BOX

**Banana mother:** im not touching him

**Gordon ramsey kin:** :(

**I cant swim:** I’ll push him in with my sword, put like just the tip.

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** Teruteru if you make a dick joke, you’re getting disowned.

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** J U S T T H E T I P

**Happy birthday raven: **remember that time mikan asked peko for “just the tip” of her sword when we all took those aphrodisiacs cause its haunting me tbh

**Banana mother:** not my proudest moment definitely one for the cringe compilation mahiru is compiling of me 

**Big papa:** IM JUST GLAD NO ONE GOT BADLY HURT! PLEASE NEVER PULL THAT STUNT AGAIN HIYOKO!!

**Teruteru slayer:** I am extremely glad I never had to put up with that silly stunt.

**Men fill me with hope:** sometimes I forget that you and hajime transferred in late lol

**Tomato mother:** I had to burn my camera because of the FILTH on it.

**ARHAHAHA:** just delete the photos?

**Tomato mother:** I don’t delete photos, once I take them, they’re there forever.

**Gordon ramsey kin:** I bet hiyoko would’ve wanted a copy of those photos ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Furry memequeen:** Mahiru’s smart, she probably backed up all the photos she wanted to keep!

**Tomato mother:** You’re right! Hiyoko which photos would you like?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** “eh, I don’t think that’s what teruteru meant…”

**Banana mother:** YES IT IS!

**Furry memelord: **Hmph, quite quick on the reply there, low priestess.

**Big papa:** ???

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** “It’s usually the high priestess, so I think gundhams calling her short.”

**Banana mother:** wAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Actual Asahina:** holy shit is she crying

**Haha I do that:** I did a cool ass punch and that’s what we should remember

**Gordon ramsey kin:** mmmmm I remember that punch ;)

**ARHAHAHA:** we don’t want to know what you jerk it to everynight thanks

**Happy birthday raven:** its easy to know what YOU jerk it to every night

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** I hope that you don’t, it’s November.

**Haha I do that:** hows yall holding up

**Teruteru slayer:** I don’t partake in such heinous activities. It would be boring.

**Banana mother:** Oh so you’re a loser that jerks it everyday to Chiaki’s Twitch streams?

**Actual Asahina:** OOF

**Gordon ramsey kin:** I failed bros :(

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** “…was it because of cooking mama?”

**ARHAHAHA:** mikan pls

**Tomato mother:** No she’s got the right idea.

**ARHAHAHA:** eevery wwhwer e I gogo I get bbbbbullied

**Furry memequeen:** when mikan stutters over text its endearing but when you do it I feel incredibly concerned for your mental state

**Haha I do that:** gogo

**I cant swim:** As in, wake me up before you gogo?

**Furry memelord:** what if you wanted to wake up before you gogo to heaven but god said, don’t leave me hanging

**Men fill me with hope:** ???

**Actual Asahina:** PREACH GUNDHAM

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** MIKAN WANTS TO KNOW IF SOMEONE CAN BRING US HOMEWROK

**Big papa:** I’M COMING!!

**Teruteru slayer:** God, I can hear Teruteru heavy breathing from here.

**Gordon ramsey kin:** you wound me izzy :((

**Banana mother:** oh so you were

**I cant swim:** I mean, what else would he do.

**Haha I do that:** thks god

**Men fill me with hope:** I’ve been thinking…

**Happy birthday raven:** for once

**Men fill me with hope:** What did Fuyuhiko and Peko do after they left?

**ARHAHAHA:** they fcuedk

**Furry memelord:** We do not want to presume.

**I don’t need friends they disappoint me:** I think we are all wondering. It’s ok if you don’t want to share but some closure would be good.

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** “peko you’ve been typing for a long time..”

**I cant swim:** We didn’t really want to bring it up, especially after what happened. But we have discussed it. We decided that if we wanted to be in a relationship I would have to discuss it with young master’s family first. We want to pursue a relationship, but I feel like it would over step my boundries as a tool.

**Happy birthday raven:** peko you aren’t a tool! Ive told you youre a fuckn amazing person!! my folks fuckn adore you!! they like you mor then me! if you really want to discuss it w my family talk to natsumi

**I cant swim:** That is… I will do that. Thank you young master.

**Happy birthday raven:** fuyuhiko

**I cant swim:** …Fuyuhiko

<strike>**Haha I do that:** izzy im adding them to the group chat</strike> [Deleted]

**Teruteru slayer:** We are sitting next to each other.

**Haha I do that:** oh YEAH

_**Everyone in our class is an idiot!** 7:05pm_

_Egirl has added 3 people!_

_Egirl has changed 3 names!_

**Stabby:** What?

**Babey:** we aren’t idiots you bitch

**Soft:** welcome!! we’re getting our classmates together :D

**Emo:** Not me, I don’t know why I am here.

**Evil:** The woman of games is slowly adding classmates as they get together.

**KFC:** Ok, why am I here?

**Egirl:** Zad your AroAce

**KFC:** Oh, true.

**Soft:** we tried to get ibuki and mikan together with alcohol but…

**Evil:** Mikan was captured by the foulest demon.

**Babey:** so you’re the reason im hung over! we’re minors we shouldn’t consume alcohol! that’s illegal!

**KFC:** Ok Mister “I have a sword wife body guard because my enemies could kill me”

**Babey:** my parents assigned her to me!

<strike>**Stabby:** I’m glad they did</strike> [Deleted]

_Emo has sent screenshot35.png_

**Egirl:** pekos soft!!!!

**Babey:** well.. im glad they did as well

**Soft:** awwwwwww!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akane: Actual Asahina  
Chiaki: Haha I do that  
Fuyuhiko: Happy birthday raven  
Gundham: Furry memelord  
Hajime: I’m Men  
Hiyoko: Banana mother  
Ibuki: LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT  
Izuru: Teruteru slayer  
Kazuichi: ARHAHAHA  
Mahiru: Tomato mother  
Mikan: 2 shots of vodka  
Nagito: Men fill me with hope  
Nekomaru: Big papa  
Peko: I cant swim  
Imposter: I don’t need friends  
Sonia: Furry memequeen  
TeruTeru: Gordon ramsey kin
> 
> I'll be redoing the chapters to make them look better!


	5. National bully kaziuchi day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big papa: DON’T ROB MCDONALDS
> 
> Happy birthday raven: STOP COMMITING CRIMES U CRIMINALS
> 
> ARHAHAHA: you’re the ultimate yakuza
> 
> Actual Asahina: ur always here,, as soon as he contradicts himself,,,,
> 
> I don’t need friends: Kazuichi as soon as Fuyuhiko says anything: pssh nothing personel kid

** _Kazoo siblings + Peko _ ** _7:30pm_

**Honorary blonde bitch: **Hey, Natsumi? May I ask you something?

**Blonde bitch jr: **sure! shoot!

**Honorary blonde bitch: **I was wonder, may I pursue a relationship with Fuyuhiko?

**Blonde bitch jr: **OMG

**Honorary blonde bitch: **I completely understand if you don’t give me your blessing.

**Blonde bitch jr: **SATO OWES ME A FUCKING ICECREAM AND KISS I WAS RIGHT!!!

**Honorary blonde bitch: **Is that a yes?

**Blonde bitch jr: **peko. OF COURSE!!! i wouldn’t want anyone else as my sister in law!!

**Blonde bitch sr: **WE ARENT GETTING MARRIED YET YOU SHITWIPE

**Blonde bitch jr: **OK BET ANYWAY CAN I TELL SATO I REALLY WANT THAT ICE CREAM

**Honorary blonde bitch: **I mean, we already told the class so Sato was most likely told already.

** _Power rangers but gay _ ** _7:05pm_

**The red one: **SATO YOU ARENT GONNA BELIEVE THIS!!

**The green one: **All caps? This must be important then!!

**The yellow one: **HAHA YOU OWE NATSUMI ICE CREAM AND A KISS LOZER

**The green one: **ATLEAST I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND IM NOT IN PINING BITCH!!

**The blue one: **“I wish that was me :(“

**The green one: **Mikan, that IS gonna be you someday!! Its gonna be you and ;)))))

**The blue one: **WHOS ;))))))

**The green one: **I’m no snitch!!

**The green one: **Is anyone gonna tell me or do I have to guess?

**The red one: **PEKO AND FUYUHIKO FINALLY GOT TOGETHER!!

**The green one: **I OWE NATSUMI ICE CREAM AND A KISS DAMMIT

**The yellow one: **HAHA PUNY PEA BITCH

**The green one: **I WILL NOT HESITATE TO PUT YOUR SHIT ON THE TOP SHELF

**The blue one: **…..WE WONT TELL IF YOU DON’T

**The green one: **DEAL!!

** _Chiaki’s Minecraft server _ ** _2:03am_

**Haha I do that: **donttttt mineeeeeeeeeeee atttttttttttttttttttt nightttttttttt

**Actual Asahina: **heyyyyyyyyy nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww youuuuuuurrrrrrrrr annnnnnnn alllllllllllsttttttttttarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **DISCORDDDDDDDDDDDDDD IMMMMMMM HOWLINGGGGGGGGG ATTTTTTTTTTT THEEEEEEEEEEEE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

**ARHAHAHA: **RAAAAAA RAAAAAA RASPUTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN LOVERRRR OFFFFF THEEE RUSSSSSSSSSIAAAAAANNNNNNNNN QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

  
**Gordon ramsey kin:** gottaaaaaaaaa doooooooooo theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee cokkkkiiiiiiiinnnngggggggggg bbbbyyyyyyyyyyyy tttthhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeee bokkkkkkkkkkk

**Furry memequeen: **IMMMMM BLUEEEEEEE DABBBBBASDEEEEEEEEEEE DABBBAAAAAAADEEEEEEEYY DABADABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DABADIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DABEABDEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Furry memelord: **WAKE ME UPPPPPPPPPPPP (WAKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEE UPPPPPPPP INSDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE) CANT WAKEEEEEEE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP (WAKEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEE UPPPPPPPPPPPP INSIDEEEEEEEEEEEE) SSSSS AAAAAAAAAAA VVVVVVVVVVV EEEEEEEEEEE MMMMMM EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Big papa: **AND WHY ARE YOU ALL AWAKE?

**Haha I do that: **playing terraria

**Actual Asahina: **night terrors

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **SCARED FOR MIKAN

**ARHAHAHA: **working on something

**Gordon ramsey kin: **On the train to see my momma!!

**Furry memequeen: **on the plane home!!

**Furry memelord: **We are playing, what you mortals refer to as “Imessage games”

**Big papa: **AKANE, IBUKI AND KAZUICHI, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE ABOUT IT? ITS OK IF YOU DON’T!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **YALL KNOW WHY LOL

**ARHAHAHA: **it’s a surprise me and miu are working on

**Actual Asahina: **not really

**Big papa: **YOU ARE ALL VALID! YOU SHOULD ALL GO TO SLEEP SOON, WE HAVE CLASS IN THE MORNING!

**ARHAHAHA: **will do! Me and miu are taking a small nap in a bit.

**Haha I do that: **to lazy to sleep

**Gordon ramsey kin: **they don’t have beds here.

** _Fuck shit up _ ** _2:27am _

** **

** **

** **

**FUCK: **hey coach?

**SHIT: **HEY AKANE, WHATS WRONG?

**FUCK:** can I rant to you?

**SHIT: **SHOOT! IM ALWAYS HERE TO LISTEN

**FUCK: **well around this time years and years ago in the middle of the night my lil sibling was snatched right out under us. we haven’t seen him since. its been years since he was stolen and i still feel like shit cause of it. i was the oldest there shouolda been me

**SHIT: **AKANE, YOU CANT CHANGE THE PAST. IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT THAT HAPPENED!! ALL YOU CAN DO IS HOPE FOR HIS SAFE RETURN. YOU COULD COME TO MY ROOM IF YOU’D LIKE? ITS LATE AND I DON’T THINK EITHER OF US ARE GOING TO SLEEP ANYTIME SOON!

**FUCK**: ..id like that coach

** _Chiaki’s Minecraft server _ ** _3:24am _

** **

** **

**ARHAHAHA: **so it turns out that making a computer is harder then I thought. but me and miu have bonded over the fact that if given the chance we would fuck a robot

**Actual Asahina: **GO TO SLEEP KAZUICHI!!!

**ARHAHAHA: **I could say the same to you

**Big papa: **OOPS WRONG PHONE!!

**Haha I do that: **wait

**Gordon ramsey kin: **oooh what’s akane doing in your room?

**ARHAHAHA: **our rock hard dad finally getting laid?

**Furry memequeen: **QUIET B O T T O M

**ARHAHAHA: **wait so when teruteru’s horny he gets a pass but I make one passing comment and im a bottom?

**Furry memelord: **The master of culinary arts has it ingrained into himself, you however have the ability to shape up, and not spend all of your time around Miu Iruma.

**ARHAHAHA: **you cant tell me who I cant hang out with

**I don’t need friends: **I do. Everyone go to sleep.

** _Robo fuckers unite!! _ ** _3:31am _

**Shark vore: **when the fuck did the world start accepting victorious memes as good memes?

**Winkwink: **since uhhhhhhhh UR MOM

**Shark vore: **no U

**Fuckin loli: **Why do I hang out with you guys?

**Winkwink: **cause we all wanna fuck robots chi :(

**Fuckin loli: **I don’t want to have intercourse with a robot!

**Shark vore: **I DO THO

**Winkwink: **YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Winkwink: **yo do u think kirigiri would care if I made all the projectors in the classes project porn.

**Fuckin loli: **Miu, please don’t do that!

**Shark vore: **100% he’d kill u and I don’t want u to die bitch

**Winkwink: **what kinda straight shit is that I aint straight

**Shark vore: **YOU STOLE MY FUCKIN SPARE MOTOR YOU BITCH I NEED A NEW ONE

**Winkwink: **HOW ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO MAKE A HUGE FUCKINIG ROOMBA MACHINE

**Fuckin loli: **By taping roomba’s together.

**Shark vore: **well you better get me a new one and when you do then you can die

**Fuckin loli: **No!! Don’t die!! We’d miss you :(

**Winkwink: **Aha nooo don’t die ur to sexy :(((((

**Shark vore: **that was to ur own fucking death

**Fuckin loli: **A true power move is being the person who buries your own casket!

**Winkwink: **I turn up to my funeral and fuckin snort my own ashes

**Shark vore: **this just in fuckin loser miu iruma snorts some random guys ashes

**Winkwink: **that aint some fuckin rando’s ashes that’s mine bitch face!!

**Fuckin loli: **Taka’s going to take my phone if he see’s you swearing! :(

** _Chiaki’s Minecraft server _ ** _3:56am_

**Haha I do that: @ARHAHAHA **stop freaking chi out

**ARHAHAHA: **no

** _Chiaki’s Minecraft server _ ** _10:03am_

**Haha I do that: **some of us still have the same usernames :/

**Happy birthday raven: **its because we haven’t said anything funny yet

**Men fill me with hope: **I don’t think my rant was particularly funny…

**I don’t need friends: **It was unintentionally hilarious.

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: @Tomato mother **MAHRIU CAN U COME LOOK AFTER MIKAN FOR ME

**Tomato mother: **Sure! When will you be getting back?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **LIKE 8PM

**Tomato mother: **Oh, what’s the occasion?

**Banana mother: **we’re robbing mcdonaldss

**I cant swim: **They’re dragging me along…

**Big papa: **DON’T ROB MCDONALDS

**Happy birthday raven: **STOP COMMITING CRIMES U CRIMINALS

**ARHAHAHA: **you’re the ultimate yakuza

**Actual Asahina: **ur always here,, as soon as he contradicts himself,,,,

**I don’t need friends: **Kazuichi as soon as Fuyuhiko says anything: pssh nothing personel kid

**Furry memelord: **Hark! A jest from the deepest pits of hell!

**Furry memequeen: **translation: you know sonic memes?

**Men fill me with hope: **Fairly certain he didn’t say that?

**Gordon ramsey kin: ***bangs pots and pans* IMPOSTER LIKES SONIC MEMES

**ARHAHAHA:** hehe bangs

_Haha I do that has changed ARHAHAHA to Pssh nothing personell kid_

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **I approve

**Happy birthday raven: **I DON’T

**I cant swim: **Kazuichi are you twelve?

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **yea twelve inches deep in ur mom

**I cant swim: **I’m an orphan.

**Haha I do that: **so I was reading frostlass’ (the pokemon I used for hiyoko) dex entry says she relishes off the souls of men and if that’s not the most hiyoko thing then I don’t know what is

**Banana mother: **IM HUNGYYYYYYYYYY f̴̧̤̠͓̳̝̖͎̭̻͖̗͔̱͊̏̈̅̊͜o̵̧̬̟̓̆̔̃̇̑͛͋͠r̸̢̧̩̯̲̮̠̺͑̔̒ ̸̩̇̐͑̍̿́̿̌͒͝m̴̨̧͖̻͓̮̗͉͙̫̻͔̩͑̂̌̑̈́̎̈́͌̽͝ė̷̥̰̰̲̗̪̥͑̄͋̚ñ̸̡̙̲̳̺̖͙̫̉̇̿̊̍̆̆̚͜͝s̴̡̯͉͎͙͖̟̝̫̺͉̱̄͊̋̒͐͂͌͌̅̕͝͝͝ ̶̛̙̲͚̫̽͐͛̓̏͛̈̓̐͛͌͝s̷̡̗̮̘̟̗̰̮͍̗͂̍͋̈̑̎̇o̶̖̗̦̘͎͋͋̍ũ̴͔̲̫͎̲̝͔̙̘̱̲̟͎̘̌̅͝l̷̢̨̢͎̩̺̲̪̭̭̲̹͛̔̊͌̇̀̓̎̕͘͠ͅs̸̯̭̮̮̻̻̺̅͋̆̅̇̏͋̈̑̈̈́͗͘͜

**Furry memequeen: **thank you hiyoko! very cool!

**Men fill me with hope:** I feel kind of unsafe!

**Tomato mother: **I’m here! I also brought Mikan a present!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: “**?wwwhat is it”

**Tomato mother: **youll see :)

**Big papa: **IT BETTER NOT BE ANYTHING INAPPROPRIATE!!

**Happy birthday raven: **mahiru is literlaly the last person here to give someone something inappropriate

**I can’t swim: **I doubt Mahiru has even thought about doing something inappropriate in her life.

**I don’t need friends: **“What’s a sex”- Mahriu, probably.

**Banana mother: **have you ever met a woman as pure

**Gordon ramsey kin: **so hiyokos type is pure

**Banana mother: **time to choke teruteru to death!!!!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **SEXC!!!!!

**Haha I do that: **have any of yall seen Izuru or Hajime

**Men fill me with hope: **They were in their room last I saw them!

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **break into their room

**Haha I do that: **I need to trade some pokemon with izuru :( I want my full dex dammit

**Teruteru slayer: **Thanks for your concern, I was getting myself food.

**2 shots of vodka: **ttthank you so much for the new phone mahiru!!!!! <333333333<33333

**Actual Asahina: **wait you bought Mikan a new phone?

**Tomato mother: **Me, Hiyoko and Ibuki put money towards it when we found out Mikan’s phone broke.

**Gordon ramsey kin: **hiyoko put forward money?

**Banana mother: **of course I would! i hate “that” bitch so mucjh id do anything to show fake tits that nothing she does is permanent.

**2 shots of vodka: **ttthank you all!!!!! <33<33<33

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **SHES SO CUTE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Big papa: **ibuki dies: cause of death, mikan being too cute

**I don’t need friends: **Now that we’re all awake, Akane and Nekomaru, why were you in the same room last night?

**Actual Asahina: **we were just sleeping bro

**Haha I do that: **and fuyuhiko and peko were just sleeping when they left the party together

**Gordon ramsey kin: **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Happy birthday raven: **ok wow

**Big papa: **I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!!!

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **then wht the fuck is ‘it’ and why do u talk about it so much

**Big papa: **KAZUICHI THAT’S A MASSAGE

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **THIS JUST IN!!!!!! KAZUICHI THINKS WITH HIS DICK!!!!!!!!!

**Furry memequeen: **not surprised!

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **hey!

**Banana mother: **I bet his dick is tiny as well!

**Pssh nothing personell kid:** HEY!

**Teruteru slayer: **Happy Annual, ‘Insult Kazuichi Day’. Date: Always.

**Haha I do that: **IZURU MEMD

**Teruteru slayer: **It wasn’t intentional.

**Actual Asahina: **suer jan

**Haha I do that: **ONE OF US

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **ONE OF US!!!!11

**Gordon ramsey kin:** ONE OF US

**Furry memequeen: **ONE OF US!

**Happy birthday raven: **im not doing this

**I cant swim: **I want a divorce; and I’m taking Ibuki.

**Happy birthday raven: **PEKO WAIT

**I don’t need friends: **If anyone is taking Ibuki, it’s me.

**Teruteru slayer: **So, your favourite child is Mikan but you would take Ibuki in a divorce?

**2 shots of vodka: **ddddo you not like me any more :’((((((

**Tomato mother: **Imposter! Apologize for making Mikan cry immediately!

**I don’t need friends: **Mikan and Ibuki are a two-person package, you get one; you get the other.

**Furry memelord: **Chiaki, permission to meme once more?

**Haha I do that: **yee

**Furry memelord: **I wont smite you yet. Anyone other then a female: *exists* Mahiru: [disgusting.jpg](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/87/4f/39/874f395459e3180a5b511053e8689d38.jpg)

**Banana mother:** not true!!! mahirus friends with a bunch of people that aren’t girls!!

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **like sakura!!

**Furry memequeen: **Kazuichi.

**Actual Asahina: **oh god oh fuck shes actually talking to him

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **yes miss Sonia!! <3

**Furry memequeen: **Do you know Aoi Asahina?

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **yeah!! akanes nearly sister

**Actual Asahina: **only like half a motnh till I get to mov in

**Furry memequeen: **Do you know Aoi’s sexuality?

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **yeah!!! shes a lesbian her and mahiru had a big lesbian flag at their party!!

**Gordon ramsey kin: s**till one of the best cakes I’ve made if I do say so myself

**Furry memequeen: **Do you know who Aoi is dating?

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **of course!!! aoi and sakura are the best power couple in the school

**Furry memequeen: **Aoi is a lesbian, correct?

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **yeah I said that lol

**Furry memequeen: **And lesbians like women and only women?

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **yeah we’ve got like four in the class

**Furry memequeen: **So Aoi’s partner would have to be a girl?

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **yeah that makes sense

**Furry memequeen: **And Sakura and Aoi are dating?

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **yeah why are we going over what I said??

**Furry memequeen: **So what gender does that make Sakura?

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **sakuras a boy

**Haha I do that: **gun emoji

**Furry memeking: **On all of my years living or dead, I have never encountered more of a fool.

**Happy birthday raven: **your so dumb what the fuck bro

**Tomato mother: **Sakura is a woman! I swear, men are so dumb!

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **OH

**Teruteru slayer: **It appears he is still thinking with his dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akane: Actual Asahina   
Chiaki: Haha I do that   
Fuyuhiko: Happy birthday raven  
Gundham: Furry memelord  
Hajime: I’m Men   
Hiyoko: Banana mother  
Ibuki: LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT   
Izuru: Teruteru slayer  
Kazuichi: Pssh nothing personell kid  
Mahiru: Tomato mother  
Mikan: 2 shots of vodka   
Nagito: Men fill me with hope   
Nekomaru: Big papa   
Peko: I cant swim  
Imposter: I don’t need friends  
Sonia: Furry memequeen  
TeruTeru: Gordon ramsey kin
> 
> IM BACK BABEY and so is mikan :D


	6. The gang plays a game (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Furry memequeen: Ibuki Mioda: Gay panic, the person
> 
> Furry memelord: Hark! A rare lie from the queen of darkness! For when the sailor of the sky and the earth’s rock appears before your eyes, you are the gay panic, the person. 
> 
> Actual Asahina: translation?
> 
> Furry memequeen: I’m not translating this one. 
> 
> I’m men: I think he means: wrong when you see sailor moon your gay panic
> 
> Furry memequeen: Happy news! Hajime is now banned from my country! It’s hella boss there now.

** _Chiaki’s Minecraft server _ ** _12:23pm_

** **

**2 shots of vodka:** hhhi everyone!!!! ibuki took me out of the hospital today!!!!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **MIKANNNNNNNNNNNNNNS BACCCCCCCCCCCCCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**I don’t need friends: **Welcome back Mikan! We’re glad your back!

**2 shots of vodka:** happpy to be back :D the first tthing I ssaw when I opened the door was a cloudd!! It wass so pretty!!! It looked like a swooping bird with its mouth open!!!  
  


**I’m men:** that’s pretty cool!!

**Banana mother: **no that’s dumb

**Haha I do that:** knife emoji

**Banana mother:** it could’ve been a person jumping down

**Actual Asahina:** hiyoko I was about to fight you

**I don’t need friends:** Don’t double text, we were going to kill you.

**2 shots of vodka:** your rright!! It couldve been!!!

_Haha I do that has changed **2 shots of vodka** to **Pure n loveable**_

** **

**Pure n loveable: **sniff yyuouou guys!!!

**Happy birthday raven: **mikan if anyone tries to do that stuff to you again, tell me and ill make sure them and their entire family burns down in an accident

**I cant swim: **Not if I decapitate them first.

**Actual Asahina: **not if I beat them up first!!

**Men fill me with hope: **Not if I blow them up first!

**Tomato mother: **I’m glad our class in united in the love we have for Mikan.

**Haha I do that: **liket they was 78 has Chihiro and 79 has Gonta

**I don’t need friends: **The class couldn’t unite without Mikan.

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **rememeber that time natsumi faked her death to scare mahiru and we all got super into it we united then

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!! IBUKI LOVED IT

**Men fill me with hope: **We should do that again!

**Big papa: **IT WAS A GOOD SHOW OF TEAMWORK!

**I’m men: **you could’ve told me it was fake because I over heard mahiru and satos conversation and got really confused when sato and natsumi joined back to school like 3 days later

**Tomato mother: **I’m still deeply traumatized, thanks you lot.

**Banana mother: **I thought it was stupid personally. we shouldn’t have hurt mahiru!!! what did she do to deserve it!!

**Happy birthday raven: **how else were they supposed to tell mahiru that her bully was dating her best friend

**Tomato mother: **Not by faking Natsumi’s death, pretending Sato did it, pretending to kill Sato and staying like that for 3 DAYS.

**I cant swim: **Natsumi is dramatic, though.

**Haha I do that: **your welcome for the 2 days off school I made chisa give you

**Banana mother: **she spent them crying you dickheads!

**Pure n loveable: **oops

**I don’t need friends: **Not you Mikan, you’re an angel and we’re glad you’re here.

**Pure n loveable: **:D

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **MIKANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Furry memequeen: **Ibuki Mioda: Gay panic, the person

**Furry memelord: **Hark! A rare lie from the queen of darkness! For when the sailor of the sky and the earth’s rock appears before your eyes, you are the gay panic, the person.

**Actual Asahina: **translation?

**Furry memequeen: **I’m not translating this one.

**I’m men: **I think he means: wrong when you see sailor moon your gay panic

**Furry memequeen: **Happy news! Hajime is now banned from my country! It’s hella boss there now.

** _We horni!!! _ ** _12:45pm_

**I don’t bite ;))): **bro I jus wanna… give up on Sonia but its so hard yknow!!!

**Come see what I’m cookin ;))): **mhm I get you

**I don’t bite ;))): **I know shell never like me!!!! but I just…. wiish she did

**Come see what I’m cookin ;))): **you need to move on

**I don’t bite ;))): **but how!!!!

**Come see what I’m cookin ;))): **I’ve got a group chat for people that have been rejected

**I don’t bite ;))): **you’ve been rejected?

**Come see what I’m cookin ;))): **yeah, by like everyone.

**I don’t bite ;))): **oh true, thanks teru

** _The rejected _ ** _12:52pm_

** _R by e_ ** _ has added **Its soda not pop**_

** **

_R by e has change Its soda not pop to R by s_

**R by h:** Ew, you added soda?

**R by e: **well this is a group chat for everyone whose been rejected

**R by h: **But he’s stupid and will probably tell h I like her!!

**R by s: **im so confusion whats going on who are yall

**R by e: **well im teruteru, of course. you have to sign the contract before we reveal any other names

**R by s: **a contract?

**R by h: **He’s over reacting, you just have to promise not to tell anyone who we are and who we like.

**R by s: **k sure

**R by h: **Great! I’m Mahiru.

**R by s: **and im guessing h is hiyoko?

**R by h:** Yeah…

**R by s: **so its just us 3?

**R by i: **nnope im here to,,,

**R by s: **who are you?

**R by i: **mmmikan :)

**R by s: **and who were you rejected by?

**R by i: **ibuki D:

**R by s: **what about you teru

**R by e: **everyone

**R by s: **…have any of you actually been rejected by these people

**R by e: **ye

**R by h: **Not personally, but practically.

**R by i: **wwhat sshee said

**R by s: **what do you mean

**R by h: **You didn’t know? Hiyoko and Ibuki dated at the start of the year, so me and Mikan sort of realised we don’t have a chance.

**R by s: **thats stupid

**R by e: **that’s what I said! they aren’t together anymore your fine

**R by i: **bbut what if theyre jjust secretyly ddating becayse ttheyre suspe fsmous and cacnt say theyre in rrrelationships D:

**R by s: **jesus chrrist

** **

** _Chiaki’s Minecraft server _ ** _1:02pm_

**Haha I do that: **Is it just a hopes peak thing that we all have a bad relationship with our parents

**Men fill me with hope: **Mine are dead!

**I cant swim: **As are mine.

**Actual Asahina: **fuck yeah I hate all of them (except my new parents theyre nice)

**Pssh nothing personell kid: ***shakes fist* fuck you dad

**I’m men: **mine sold me to the school for experiment so now that fucking bitch izuru exists

**Gordon ramsey kin: **I love my momma! My dad sucks though.

**Banana mother: **FUCK YOU MOM FUCK YOU GRAN daddy please come back I miss you

**Furry memequeen: **I love my parents! They rule over Novoselic very well!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **IBUKIS PARENTS DON’T REALLY CARE WHAT IBUKI DOES SO SHE DOESN’T SEE THEM MUCH

**Big papa:** MINE PAID FOR MY TREATMENT BUT NEVER WENT TO SEE ME

**Tomato mother: **My mother’s an amazing person! But my dad is a useless man! He’s always drunk but that might just be the Irish in him.

**I’m men: **your irish?

**Tomato mother: **Oh yeah, did you not know that?

**Banana mother: **you keep it well hid

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **TEACH US A PHRASE!!

**Tomato mother: **Here’s a romantic one: Is maith liom cabáiste a ithe, an dteastaíonn uait a bheith ag ithe liom!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: @Pure n loveable **FOR YOU!!!!

**Pure n loveable: **bbbuki look it up on google translate

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **I STAND BY WHAT I SAID!!!

**Furry memequeen: **I haven’t learnt any irish yet, I suppose I should start since you know it!

**Banana mother: **Mahiru your so smart!! <33333333

**Big papa: **WE SHOULD ALL STRIVE TO LEARN MORE THEN ONE LANGUAGE!!

**Haha I do that: **is Sonia the only person who has a good relationship with both their parents?

**Furry memelord: **My father was a devil, while my mother is the purest angel to ever give the world her heavenly presence.

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **jesus no one can understand you when you talk like that cant you like stop??

**Furry memelord: **It appears it is time for the SUPREME OVERLORD OF ICE to take his leave.

**Happy birthday raven: **goddamit kazuichi

**I’m men: **not cool kaz

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **what did I do

**Furry memequeen: **Gundham has autism, talking like that is his way of coping. did you ever wonder why he hated people touching him? or why all of his closest companions are animals.

**Tomato mother: **You’re despicable.

**Pure n loveable: **hhhes one of usss!!

**Banana mother: **jesus is you brain that tiny that you didn’t realise that you shouldn’t ask someone to just STOP speaking like they do…

**Haha I do that: **id recommend apologizing to him… I guess that might help..

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **that’s a good idea ill go do that

** _Chiaki’s Minecraft server _ ** _1:54pm_

**Furry memelord: **Hark! There is a gift a foot the SUPREME OVERLORD OF ICE’S door. It’s an owl clock!

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **im really sorry for insulting you, could you forgive me?

**Furry memelord: **You insulted thy? I did not receive one!

**I’m men: **but you said you had to go?

**Furry memelord: **For the dark devas feeding time.

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **thanks I hate all of u

**Haha I do that: **who wants to play a game

**Gordon ramsey kin: **LETS PLAY STRIP UNO

**Tomato mother: **What the hell is strip uno. We aren’t playing that.

**Haha I do that: **chi made a bot thatll do fun games ill add it

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe has been added _

**ALTER-EGO: **Hello! Thank you for adding me Chiaki! Did Chihiro give you my functions?

**Haha I do that: **.speak yep! say thanks to them for me

**Haha I do that: **if you want to speak to alter ego just put dot speak then what you want to say

**Haha I do that: **lets do the game! Chihiros made me a program that switches our names to a secret of ours. it makes it so we cant say our own names and have to guess everyone elses. It also reverts all our typing styles to the same so we cant tell whos writing by the styles. If you want to guess someone you put dot guess at the start of the message.

**Haha I do that: **.game-2

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe has changed all names_

**ALTER-EGO: **Let the games begin! Here are all the names:

**First crush was cooking mama**

**Good at knitting**

**Wears a lot of makeup**

**Allergic to peanut butter**

**Had lice for 3 years straight:**

**Was the furry**

**Favourite show is sailor moon**

**First crush was also cooking mama**

**Once drank 10 litres of orange juice in a day**

**Doesn’t know simple math**

**Hair is bleached**

**Has an accent**

**Once punched a furry**

**Cosplays in their free time**

**Gushed about a serial killer to their face**

**Doesn’t know simple math**

**Ibuki’s childhood best friend**

**Hair is bleached: **So this is despair.

**Favourite show is Sailor Moon: **I will not talk for all of this.

**Once punched a furry: **.guess Sonia?

**ALTER-EGO: **Wrong!

**Gushed about a serial killer to their face: **Someone else likes Salior Moon?

**Once punched a furry: **.guess That’s Sonia.

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe changed 1 name_

**Furry memequeen: **.speak can I guess?

**ALTER-EGO: **Yep!

**Furry memequeen: **.guess **@Once punched a furry** is Gundham! I saw him do it!

**Once punched a furry: **.guess **@Was the furry **Is Nekomaru in that case!

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe has changed 2 names_

**Furry memelord:** Now we shall be on my way. We have decided to take the small witch as our own

**Furry memequeen:** We decided to take Himiko under our wings cause shes also magial and doesn’t know her master.

**Allergic to peanut butter:** Nekomaru, why were you a furry?

**Big papa:** WE HAD NO MASCOT SO I STOOD IN! IT WASN’T ANATOMICALLY CORRECT SO I GOT PUNCHED

**Allergic to peanut butter: **That’s cute.

**First crush was cooking mama: **Spider man meme?

**First crush was also cooking mama: **Spider man meme.

**Has an accent: **I don’t know why I don’t speak in my accent.

**Ibuki’s childhood best friend: **Thanks, I hate my name.

**Had lice for 3 years straight: **I think the fact you’ve been friends for so long is cute.

**Doesn’t know simple math: **Can you blame me? I’m ¾ idiot and ¼ *****

**Doesn’t know simple math: **Oops can’t say my name!

**Good at knitting:** Who the fuck had lice in their hair for that long.

**Had lice for 3 years straight:** Im really sorry! I couldn’t brush it as a child.

**Doesn’t know simple math:** .guess That’s mikan! She told me about how her parents wouldn’t let her brush her hair.

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe changed 1 name_

**Pure n loveable:** wwwell done Ibuki!! :D

**Good at knitting:** Damn that’s sad. Sorry mikan.

**Doesn’t know simple math:** If I’m getting dragged down I’m taking Hiyoko with me.

**Doesn’t know simple math:** .guess **@Ibuki’s childhood bestfriend** is Hiyoko and im Ibuki

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe changed 2 names_

**Banana mother:** given the legal oppurtunity I will kill u

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** ILL BE WAITING!!

**Allergic to peanut butter:** How did you two meet.

**Has an accent:** Yeah, you said your grandma was really picky on who you could talk to and who you couldn’t.

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** IBUKI NEEDED TO DO SOME DANCING FOR A MUSIC VIDEO SO IBUKI WENT TO THE BEST DANCING FAMILY IN JAPAN!!

**Banana mother:** which was mine obviously

**Hair is bleached:** How long have you been making music?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** SINCE IBUKI WAS 5!! I MET HER AT 10

**Banana mother:** she had to learn traditional dancing for it she was shit at it

**Pure n loveable:** Iii bbet she was good!!

**Cosplays in their free time:** Ibuki’s good at dancing, you’re just mean.

**Tomato mother:** Hey! Hiyoko isn’t mean!

**Cosplays in their free time:** .guess Mahiru you’ve fallen into my trap. Only you would defend Hiyoko.

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe has changed 1 name_

**Banana mother:** Mahiru I love your accent so much its adorable

**Tomato mother:** Thank you hiyoko!! <3

**Banana mother:** ,,,<3

**Furry memelord:** As you mortals say, that is gay.

**First crush was cooking mama:** I can’t be the only one who thinks they’re a couple and are secretly hiding it from us.

**Big papa:** IF YOU SAY HIYOKO WILL KILL YOU

**First crush was also cooking mama:** Hiyoko doesn’t vibe with the law.

**Wears a lot of makeup:** Who vibes with the law when you’re a yakuza.

**Wears a lot of makeup:** Wait, shit.

**Good at knitting:** Boss baby wears makeup!

**Wears a lot of makeup:** Shut up Mr Kazuichi, ‘I knit myself scarfs because my neck gets cold’.

**Tomato mother:** Fuyuhiko, does your neck just, not get cold?

**Wears a lot of makeup:** No? Why would it.

**Favourite show is sailor moon:** It does. He makes me put her arms around it to make it warm.

**First crush was also cooking mama:** *insert that one vine* Gasp Peko.

**Furry memelord:** **@Wears a lot of makeup** is Fuyuhiko **@Good at knitting** is Kazuichi **@Favourite show is sailor moon** is Peko

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe has changed 3 names_

**I can’t swim:** How did you know it was me?

**Allergic to peanut butter:** No one else is that close to Fuyuhiko.

**First crush was also cooking mama:** Let’s try and find out who hasn’t been found out.

**Once drank 10 litres of orange juice in a day:** I kept quiet for this exact reason.

**Pssh nothing personell kid:** .guess …Hajime?

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe has changed 1 name_

**I’m men:** should I explain myself?

**Allergic to peanut butter:** Absolutely not, I want to never know.

**First crush was cooking mama:** .guess That’s akane I made her a peanut butter sandwich and she cried.

**Allergic to peanut butter:** .guess That’s teruteru no one else makes food.

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe has changed 2 names_

**Tomato mother:** I make food!

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** CAUSE UR OUR MOM

**First crush was also cooking mama:** *vine voice* You’re our mom! Boogy, boogy, boogy

**I’m men:** .guess Chiaki she’s the only one who quotes obscure vines

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe has changed 1 name_

**Haha I do that:** oh fiddle sticks ive been bested

**Haha I do that:** I was reading our first texts and the first person mentioned despair…

**Hair is bleached:** Ah… I hoped you forgot about me, I deserve to be forgotten about when surrounded by many ultimates…

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT:** DON TAK ABOUT URSELF LIKE THAT!!

**Hair is bleached:** Ah how could I forget. I wont get forgotten because Hajime is here. Very untalented.

**I’m men:** bitch

**Hair is bleached:** Bastard.

**Furry memequeen:** enemys to lovers 300k words slow burn homoerotic subtext

**Hair is bleached:** I will kill an ultimate.

**Pure n loveable:** wwe forgot imposter!!

**Cosplays in their free time:** I was hoping you did

**Banana mother:** .guess theres mister ham hands!!

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe has changed 1 name_

**Haha I do that:** wait its supposed to automatically finished who did we forget?

**I’m men:** SHIT NAGITO

**Hair is bleached:** It’s ok.

**Haha I do that:** .guess oh god were so sorry nagito

_/Bot:Alter-Ego.exe has changed 1 name_

**ALTER-EGO: **Congrats on finishing the game! There was another thing I neglected to mention, the last person gets another secret revealed! Nagito’s is: he likes fingers in his ass!

**Banana mother:** WH A T AHJAFDJNFVCDJKKFDJIFKD

**Big papa: **GOOD NIGHT

** _Chiaki’s Minecraft server _ ** _12:05am_

**_???_** _has added **MONO-KUMA**_

** **

**???: **L3T T43 FUN B3G1N!!

** _MONO-KUMA _ ** _has changed all names_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK!!!! THE NEXT ONE IS GOING TO BE VERY ANGSTY SO WATCH OUT


	7. The Gang Plays a Game (Junko Edition)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me??? Writing out my repressed trauma through a danganronpa fic??? More likely then you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR SO MUCH.
> 
> TW For K/dnapping, Attempted M/rder, Child S/xual Ab/se, Attempted S/icide, Dr/g Use and Inc/st

**MONO-KUMA: **I’ve changed every name! Here’s the full list! No cheating!

Used to take steroids

Tried to kill at least 3 people in the class

Is wanted in the US

Dated their cousin for 2 years

Would be homeless without hopes peak

Tried to poison their dad

In love with Mikan

Slept with an old man for money

Tried to kill their sister

Tried to kill themselves with motor oil

Dated Junko

Isn’t a lesbian is just scared of men

Cause of their parents’ death

Nearly got killed by Junko

The reason for their parent’s divorce

Got someone kidnapped

**Isn’t a lesbian** **just scared of men: **What?

**Nearly killed my Junko:** Oh god.

**MONO-KUMA:** Puhuhuhu! Junko decided to make me as a virus to take over that stupid alter ego to cause despair one last time! I work the same as alter ego!

**Dated their cousin for 2 years:** this is… a secret I didn’t want anyone knowing

**Used to take steroids:** I think mine is quite known. I couldn’t’ve survived without them. How else do you think I look like this?

**Got someone kidnapped:** No! I didn’t! I just happened to be there! I didn’t do anything!

**Is wanted in the US: **Not for anything bad.

**Dated Junko: **I regret it, she was a psychopath.

**Tried to kill themselves with motor oil: **.guess mikan?

**MONO-KUMA: **Nope!

**Tried to kill themselves with motor oil: **oh god my name. it was a onetime thing. I promise I will never do it again.

**Cause of their parents’ death: **I know I am… I’m worthless and I know this.

**Would be homeless without hopes peak: **Thanks. This is something I don’t like thinking about.

**Slept with an old man for money: **I had to! It was the only way I could afford my kimono…

**The reason for their parent’s divorce: **.guess Is that Hiyoko?

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Tried to kill themselves with motor oil: **Seems like something she’d do

**Would be homeless without hopes peak:** Don’t say things like that you prick.

**Banana mother: **fuck off, I didn’t choose to sleep with him. my fucking hag of a gran made me because she didn’t want to buy me a new kimono. she decided to take all my money! its not my fucking fault! mahhiru pleassse come helpme

**Dated their cousin for 2 years: **I don’t think she can… It would give away her secret.

_ _

**Tried to kill at least 3 people in the class: **I wanted to stay silent for obvious reasons but no one got Nekomaru out, so I’m afraid I must.

**Tried to kill at least 3 people in the class: **.guess **@Used to take steroids** is Nekomaru.

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Is wanted in the US: **What? Why would someone try to kill our classmates.

**Tried to kill their sister: **I think I know why.

**Would be homeless without hopes peak:** Then get them out?

**Tried to kill their sister: **If I did that I would also go out.

**Tried to poison their dad: **I’m sorry! He just hurt my momma so much! I didn’t end up doing it! I’m sorry!

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **.guess Teruteru?

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Gordon ramsey kin: **How did you guess?

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **You called her your Momma.

**Tried to kill themselves with motor oil: **.guess Mikan?

**MONO-KUMA: **Nope!

**Got someone kidnapped: **Nekomaru, can you just do mine and get it out of the way.

**Big papa: **Are you sure?

**Got someone kidnapped: **Positive. I know trying to ignore it won’t get him back.

**Big papa: **.guess That’s Akane

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Actual Asahina:** not using all caps?

**Big papa: **I don’t think it would be appropriate.

**Dated Junko: **Alright, I’m bored. Lets figure this out. **@Isn’t a lesbian is just afraid of men** has to be one of the lesbians in the group. It cannot be Hiyoko as she’s out.

**Isn’t a lesbian** **just scared of men:** Please just take me out, I can’t look at your name, or see this bot.

**Isn’t a lesbian** **just scared of men: **Why does someone like me? I’m horrible and useless and disgusting, you shouldn’t like me! Don’t like me please! Please, please, please don’t like me!

**Dated their cousin for 2 years: **.guess That’s Mikan.

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Pure n Loveable: **Ill be innn my roomm if you need me,,,,

**In love with Mikan: **I swear to god. Who decided to play this stupid prank? It isn’t funny, Mikan is crying. I hope you burn in hell.

**Dated their cousin for 2 years:** Should we explain our names?

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **That would probably help. I’m sure these are all just big stretches, for example Teruteru only thought about killing his dad.

**Gordon ramsey kin: **I tried actually… I regret it so much.

**Dated their cousin for 2 years:** In my country it is normal for people to date distant family members. My cousin courted me on and off for 2 years, though I was never interested in him.

**The reason for their parent’s divorce: **.guess Sonia.

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Banana mother: **huh this is the point where soda should come running preaching about how hes gonna kill him

**Tried to kill themselves with motor oil: **I’ve grown past that.

**Tried to kill their sister: **.guess Kazuichi? Why did you do that?

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **It was a low point in my life. I’m in a better place now. I never told anyone; how did Junko find this out?

**Dated Junko: **Again, boring.

**Dated Junko:** .guess **@In love with Mikan** is Ibuki.

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **Why would you do that?

**Dated Junko: **Do what?

**LETS MCFRICKING LOSE IT: **Out me in front of everyone? Mikan’s going to read back, see this and hate me.

**Dated Junko: **We already knew. And she was going to find out anyway. If you’re in love with her go help her.

**Banana mother: **don’t talk to ibuki like that. youre a piece of shit and probably helped set this up.

**Dated Junko: **God no. If I did it it would be good secrets.

**Would be homeless without hopes peak: **Good?! There are secrets about literal crimes here and you call them boring? Where is your heart?

**The reason for their parent’s divorce:** May I leave?

**Furry memequeen: **.guess It’s gundham

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **How many people are left?

**Is wanted in the US: **Just a few. Please get mine done with.

**Cause of their parents’ death:** Well, what crime was it?

**Is wanted in the US: **I just did my talent.

**Cause of their parents’ death: **.guess Imposter?

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**I don’t need friends: **Glad its over for me, I’ll be helping Mikan.

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **We have to solve these names.

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **With all of this ‘boring’ talk, I think that’s izuru…

**Banana mother:** get that asshole out then!

**Dated Junko: **Your correct. I’m incredibly bored.

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **.guess Izuru.

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Teruteru slayer: **I know all of these, but saying them would take out all the fun.

**Tried to kill their sister: **Fun? You think our classmates yelling and tearing eachother apart is fun? You’re a bastard!

**Furry memequeen:** Please don’t argue with them, that’s what they’re looking for.

**Tried to kill their sister:** And a reaction they’re gonna get. That motherfuckers in our class, they probably used some weirdass sci-fi bullshit to get our secrets out while we slept.

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **That doesn’t sound possible.

**Tried to kill their sister:** Well I don’t fucking know what’s possible! They are clearly all fucking knowing apparently! Our misery is hilarious to them! I didn’t want to kill my sister! But in the yakuza, it’s a dog eat dog world! I’m always just going to be weak; I didn’t even manage to kill a little girl. I’m pathetic.

**Tried to kill at least 3 people in the class: **Fuyuhiko. Please calm down.

**Tried to kill their sister: **Calm down? How am I supposed to calm down! These secrets could get both of us fucking arrested! Why the fuck is Junko trying to ruin our fucking lives? Just because Mikan escaped her? Junko is fucking pathetic!

**Would be homeless without hopes peak: **.guess Fuyuhiko and **@Tried to kill at least 3 people in the class** is Peko. Please Peko, go take him to calm down.

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 2 names_

**I cant swim: **I will.

**Cause of their parents’ death: **I guess we’re the only ones left huh?

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **Who’s left? that’ll let us guess.

**Teruteru slayer:** Chiaki, Mahiru and Nagito.

**Furry memequeen: **.guess **@Cause of their parents death** is Nagito as he is in only one who has dead parents.

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Men fill me with hope: **I’m surprised it took such talented ultimate’s so long to guess…

**Would be homeless without hopes peak: **We’re the only two left, huh.

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **Well we really can’t say anything to give us away, so I guess everyone else will have to guess.

**Pssh nothing personell kid: **.guess is **@****Would be homeless without hopes peak** Chiaki?

**MONO-KUMA: **Nope!

**Banana mother: **m mm ahiru? Are you ok?

**Furry memequeen:** Chiaki?? What happened??

**Nearly got killed by Junko: **I don’t know either. I don’t remember.

**Teruteru slayer: **.guess Chiaki, now let’s get this done.

_/Bot:MONO-KUMA.exe changed 1 name_

**Banana mother:** mahiru are you ok??

**Would be homeless without hopes peak: **Please just finish it this.

**Banana mother:** .guess Mahiru

**MONO-KUMA: **Thank you all for playing UPUPUPUPUUPUPU, the final person to be revealed was Mahiru! Here’s her final secret! Mahiru used to sell blackmail of her classmates!

_Tomato mother has left the chat_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG IM SO SORRY-


End file.
